Fruits Flip
by Storychan
Summary: How would "Fruits Basket" be different if Tohru were a boy? And all the lovely Sohma men were lovely Sohma WOMEN! Genderflip of entire cast of "Fruits Basket". F!Kyo/M!Tohru/F!Yuki
1. Chapter 1

Fruits Flip, Chapter 1

By: Kelley Ley

_H-honda Tohru here. I'm sad, sensitive, and sweet and I miss my daddy so much. I cry a lot and I feel very alone. Not surprised, are you? Well, you might be surprised to know I'm a BOY. _

Tohru wasn't an odd name for a boy. It would have been an odd name for a girl, but that was a moot point. Tohru felt girly as all get out, anyway. Crying was something his father, the "Red Beetle", had never done. Tohru's father was a tough yakuza boss who spent all his time either raising Hell, drinking sake, or being an absolutely amazing, strong, role-model of a father to his wimpy, innocuous son.

But Tohru, despite knowing it made him weak, couldn't stop crying. He'd lost his alpha male dad, and felt like a wolf without a pack. He had been offered a room at his grandmother's, of course. That's where Uoji and Hanaji thought he was.

But Tohru's father had taught him to be a gentleman. It just didn't seem gentlemanly to make his poor, sick grandmother look after him when she was already working herself to her weary, arthritic bones looking after his cousin, aunt, and uncle. It didn't matter if Granny had the space or not. Tohru could never feel right about accepting that kind of offer.

Tohru would've asked Uoji or Hanaji to let him stay with them, but he knew they had enough to worry about at their houses already.

So Tohru was in a tent in the middle of the woods, instead, crying. He'd thought having to live out in the woods would make him man up, or tap into his caveman side, or whatever. But all Tohru had been able to do since he'd started living in the tent was sit around and feel hungry and sad, and cry. Tohru's dad had meant more to him than _anything. _ Now he was gone. Tohru told himself he'd just have to man up eventually, otherwise he wouldn't survive out there by himself.

There were _bears_ out in the woods, after all, and psychos. A boy who couldn't stop crying like a little girl wouldn't scare either.

Reminding himself of that, Tohru unzipped his tent, stretched, and prepared himself for a long walk to school. He started down the path to the road, but soon realized he was lost. _Geez, _Tohru thought to himself. _My survival instincts SUCK. _ _I should've gone to Boy Scouts or something as a kid…instead of, you know, sitting and staring off into space and trying to imitate the stuff I saw on "Iron Chef". _

_Aw, man….even as a kid I was wimpy. I'd always rather make onigiri than play ball or something like that! Plus, I mean, I'm girly-looking. Small-boned, scrawny, big brown eyes like a girl's….._

As Tohru wandered through the wood, cursing his lack of Daniel Boone-esque navigation and camping skills, he swore he heard a woman's voice. _If I'm NOT losing my mind and there's a girl out there who can help me find my way, I'd better find her! _ Tohru thought to himself. _Not that I know that anyone lives out here….or want a girl who lives out here to have to drag me out of this place. Seriously, normal guys NEVER ask for directions._

_Not that I'm a "normal" guy. Nah…I'm a weepy, cooking-obsessed, girly-looking orphan guy. So I guess I don't have a lot to lose!_

With that thought, Tohru decided to run towards the direction where he thought the voice had come from. He found himself descending down a hill, and at the bottom stood…..

A house. And not just a house- an old-school, traditional Japanese house. And a beautiful woman was sitting on its porch! _Apparently some people DO live out here! _ Tohru smiled to himself.

The woman on the porch looked like she was in her twenties or thirties- not that old, but too old for Tohru. She had shoulder-length black hair and a long, slender black pipe in her smiling mouth. She wore a black kimono with a grey _obi _sash, and she had a set of zodiac animal figurines in her lap – the quintessential _yamato nadeshiko_ – except for the sly, knowing look she was shooting Tohru.

"Hey, you 3!" she called with a playful smile. "What are you staring at, stranger?"

"N-nothing," stammered Tohru nervously. "Umm…I was admiring your zodiac figurines."

"These old things?" blinked the mysterious woman, looking surprised. "Hmm…not a lot of zodiac fans out there."

"I-I know," said Tohru. "M-my dad used to tell me zodiac stories as a kid. I-I know most guys aren't big on fairy tales, but…."

"It's nothing to feel bad about," the woman assured him. "Actually, it's refreshing to see."

"I always felt so bad for the Cat," Tohru added.

"Really?" the woman said, raising an eyebrow. "I wonder how she'd feel about- Umm, never mind! What's your sign?"

"I'm a D-Dog," said Tohru, blinking with confusion at the woman's aborted comment about his sympathy for the Cat. He realized that he still hadn't asked the woman's name.

"Really?" the woman smiled excitedly. "You, too? I know I felt a deep connection between our-"

The woman was interrupted when the cracking of the door behind her resulted in the swift dropping of a purse upon her head. The door opened fully to reveal a petite, pretty girl in a blue-and-white school uniform with shoulder-length silver hair and wide, silver eyes that grew wider in surprise when they alighted upon an equally stunned Tohru.

The girl was none other than Sohma Yukiko, the "Princess" of Tohru's school!


	2. Chapter 2

Fruits Flip, Chapter 2

By: Storychan

**Thanks to everyone who added "Fruits Flip" to their Favorite Stories list! I was surprised that Chapter 1 got so much attention Please tell me what you think of this chapter! (I don't own Fruits Basket)**

"H-Honda-san?" said Yukiko in shock, blushing as her eyes widened. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Umm, I live nearby," Tohru admitted, scarcely believing his luck. The house he'd found by chance in the middle of the woods was _Yukiko's_. Everyone at school called her "Yukiko-hime" – "Princess Yukiko", and for good reason. She was a sweet girl, smart, and good at sports. She always was polite like a good Japanese girl should be, and never lacked a kind word for her classmates. She was even on the Student Council. And, on top of all that, Tohru noted with a smile, she was the most incredibly beautiful girl he had ever met.

_Which puts her WAY out of my league, _Tohru reminded himself. _ Now I'd better stop staring at her, or she'll think I'm a sleazebag. _

Tohru politely bowed to Yukiko. "I didn't know you lived out here, Sohma-san," he said softly, trying to keep up the polite chivalrous behavior his dad has drilled into him. "Good morning."

Yukiko raised an eye at Tohru, but said nothing as she returned his bow. She instead stared down at the woman she'd beaten over the head with her purse when she'd opened the door – the woman Tohru had been speaking to. "Umm, I-I'm sorry you saw me do that," Yukiko said, blushing. "I mean, I don't usually hit people with purses. I-It's not something nice girls do."

Tohru shrugged. It was actually pretty surprising that Yukiko was strong enough to leave the woman in the state she was in- he figured Yukiko was just more athletic than he had thought. Not necessarily a bad thing.

The woman, still lying on the ground in a daze, said dizzily, "We were just _talking_, Yukiko-chan."

"Hmmmph," Yukiko snorted, scandalized, "You weren't talking, Shigune-san! You were _flirting_."

"S-she was?" muttered Tohru, surprised.

"I _know _you were, Shigune-san," Yukiko told the woman, who apparently was Shigune. "And with an _underage high school boy_, too, you shotacon!"

"Harsh, Yukiko-chan," sighed Shigune theatrically. "I mean, he's sixteen, at least. I don't _do _little boys."

"You "do" almost everybody you can find, Shigune-san!" cried Yukiko, blushing. "I'm not going to let you bring dishonor to the this house-and the entire Sohma Clan! – with your _promiscuity_."

Tohru blushed - he was pretty sure Yukiko had called Shigune a slut-and implied that she was related to her.

"F-forgive me, Honda-san," said Yukiko, staring at the ground. "This is my cousin, Sohma Shigune. It's, umm, her house."

"It's alright," Tohru assured her. Realizing that Yukiko was embarrassed, he attempted to chivalrously offer her a way out. "Want to walk to school with me?"

He then kicked himself. _Ugh, that sounded bad – like I'M flirting. I don't want to embarrass her further, and there's no way she'd agree to be seen walking with a guy like me, I mean, I'm a nobody and she's the most popular girl in school. I should just leave before I cause any more awkwardness for her. How awkward would it be for her to have to tell she doesn't want to take a long walk with-_

"Yes," said Yukiko, interrupting Tohru's thoughts. "Let's walk to school together," she smiled.

Tohru bit his bottom lip to stop it from falling to the ground in shock. Today WAS his lucky day!

He practically skipped down the path with Yukiko, being careful to not get ahead of her because he still couldn't find his way out of the woods without her.

"So, do you like the zodiac stories as much as Shigune-san?" he asked Yukiko, making polite conversation. Yukiko gave him an icy look. He'd never seen her all ice-queeny like that before – normally, she was the sweetest girl in school. Yukiko stared at him, sniffing, "Those zodiac stories are _made-up. _ You know, the zodiac animals were originally just names scrawled on a calendar. They have no factual origin, Honda-san, and frankly I'm surprised a guy like you would believe in such claptrap."

"_A guy like me"? _Tohru thought. _What kind of guy is that? _ He sighed, "Well, I mean, of course they're just stories, Sohma-san. Real animals don't talk or hold races. I like them just the same, though. Especially the Cat."

"Cats," replied Yukiko, "are stupid animals."

Not wanting to offend Yukiko further, Tohru said nothing. _Perhaps, _he thought, _ Sohma-san is just a dog person. _

O0o

When they got to school, Tohru started to get worried. Yukiko had a huge fanclub- all these guys who thought she was _moe _and devoted themselves to making sure she got the respect she deserved. If they saw him walking to school with Yukiko, they'd kick his butt. Feeling like a chicken, Tohru avoided them the whole day.

Uoji and Hanaji found him afterschool at Cooking Club, however. They'd joined the club just to eat Tohru's food, but he didn't mind. They were his best friends. Uoji was a yakuza guy who'd been friends with his dad. He was a scary-looking punk kid with dyed-blonde hair that hung down over his left eye. He was scrawny and super-tall – taller than Tohru. He never wore the tie that went with his school uniform when he could get away with it. He was a tough guy, but he'd been looking after Tohru since they were both kids. He smiled at Tohru, "Hey, man. Sorry- Hanaji-kun used his psycho-waves to find you! Why've you been hidin' from us for all day?"

"It's _psychic _waves, not 'psycho' waves, Uoji-kun," Hanaji corrected. "And it was the Yukiko-hime Fanclub Tohru-kun was hiding from, not us."

"Hi, Uoji-kun. Hi, Hanaji-kun," said Tohru. "Hanaji-kun, you're right, just like always. I wasn't hiding from _you_."

"Dude, you gotta man up one of these days and stop lettin' other guys push you 'round like that," Uoji advised. He'd said it a million times, but Tohru was glad he'd never enforced it by making Tohru take care of anything by myself. Uoji always had his back…..he was his best friend.

Tohru's other best friend, Hanaji, looked at him like he knew exactly what Tohru was thinking. Hanaji was a ½ inch shorter than Tohru, but often stood on his tiptoes to make up for it. He had, dark bored eyes and a mop of messy, dark hair that he often tied into a little braid like a Chinese video-game warrior rather than take the time to cut. He had ESP or something because he knew everything before Uoji or Tohru even asked. "Tohru, man," he said in his usual deep monotone, "how have you been?"

"I'm OK," said Tohru.

"You know what he meant, Tohru-kun," Uoji said, rolling his eyes. "Dude, are you…OK? About that thing with your dad, I mean."

"Yeah," Tohru lied. "I'm staying with my granny." The sigh of relief the two other boys let out confirmed that had been the right answer. Tohru knew that Uoji and Hanaji worried about him because he was such a sensitive little brat. He'd always gotten crap from people because of his polite, shy personality-he wasn't really the combative, hyper-masculine, strong type that could take care of himself – and Uoji and Hanaji had looked out for him. He knew they'd make a big deal out of it if he told them the truth – that he was crying like a scared kid all the time and living in a tent in the woods. He knew he already seemed defenseless enough as it was. He didn't want his friends to know he was _that _much of a dude in distress. "I'm fine, really, guys," Tohru assured them. "It's no big deal."

"If you say so, Tohru-kun," Uoji sighed. "But, you know, Honda Kyouya- yer old man – he was great. The 'Red Beetle' – dude, he was freakin' awesome."

"Yeah, I know," Tohru said sadly. _HE was the type of guy who could take care of himself- wish I was more like him. _

"And he thought YOU were 'freakin awesome', to paraphrase Uoji-kun," intoned Hanaji, grabbing Tohru's shoulder. "And he told us to look out for you, Tohru-kun, so…."

"So you'd BETTER let us know if anything's wrong, a'ight, Tohru-kun?" grinned Uoji.

"Yeah," Tohru smiled. "Thanks, guys."

O0o

That night, Yukiko went walking in the woods with Shigune. "I can't believe the way you acted around Honda-san today, Shigune-san. I mean, he's my _classmate_." Yukiko said, blushing.

"I was just being friendly," Shigune grinned. "Come on, Yukiko-chan. No guy is going to like a girl who scolds," she snickered. "So tell me more about this Honda-san."

"I don't know him that well," Yukiko admitted after a momentary glare at her incorrigible cousin. "He's in my class at school. I know he's in the Cooking Club, though."

"Cooking Club, huh?" winked Shigune. "There isn't a woman in the world who doesn't love a man that can cook." Shigune giggled.

"Sh-Shigune-san!" Yukiko pouted.

"Oh, come on, Yukiko-chan," Shigune smiled. "I'm sorry. Now you're just pouting because this Honda-san can cook and you can't, though!"

"Y-you can't cook, either," Yukiko muttered defensively.

"Mmm, you're right," Shigune agreed. "We need to get a man. A man like Honda-san who can cook for us!"

"Sh-Shigune-san…." Yukiko began, but stopped when she heard rustling in the bushes. "W-what was that?" she cried, hiding behind Shigune. _Grr, Shigune! _Yukiko thought. _It was your stupid idea for us girls to walk around the woods in the middle of the night! We don't have any guys around, like Shigune said…so we shouldn't be wandering around after dark…there's nobody around to hear us for miles!_

_Even if Honda-san SAYS he lives nearby._

"Let's see what it is, Yukiko-san," Shigune suggested, pulling back a bush.

"I'm n-not sure that's a good idea, Shigune-san," Yukiko advised. _What is she, a horror movie heroine? Sane girls never run TOWARDS mysterious noises in the dark! Especially in the woods! They run AWAY!_

Frightened, she peered over the bush with wide silver eyes. "What is it, Shigune-san?" she asked nervously. Not being able to stand it any longer, she looked….and her silver eyes got even wider.

There was Honda-san, crawling out of a dirty yellow tent with a rag in his hand! His mortified brown eyes stared into her shocked silver ones. "H-Honda-san?" she cried in surprise. "When you said that you lived out here, surely you didn't mean-" Yukiko stopped in mid-sentence, appalled at Shigune's lack of ladylike manners.

"SHIGUNE-SAN, STOP LAUGHING AT TOHRU-KUN THIS INSTANT! He's our….guest," she cried, the pale, soft skin of her cheeks turning a very unladylike shade of crimson.


	3. Chapter 3

Fruits Flip, Chapter 3

**Sorry for the long chapter! Ha, ha. I really hope everyone likes it. xTammy-Blossomx, you'll see Shigune's less creepy side in this chapter. And I hope there's enough Yukiko in it for you :D cyndy-kawaii-maidsama, you'll be happy to know Kyoko makes an appearance at the end of this chapter. Thank you for your nice review! As for when we'll introduce Ayameko, troubleclef27? I'm trying to follow the canon closely, so she might not appear for a few more chapters, gomen nasai. Thank you for your support, everyone! I hope you read and review this chapter! (and thank you to angel3698 for being my 1****st**** reviewer, and to InvaderTaz for your review as well!) I still don't own Fruits Basket, unfortunately. **

"_SHIGUNE-SAN, STOP LAUGHING AT TOHRU-KUN THIS INSTANT! He's our….guest_."

Yukiko so rarely raised her voice above a prim-and-proper whisper that Shigune, shocked, stopped laughing at once. Instead, she just stared at the boy, Honda Tohru, who crawled completely out of his tent, stood up, and dusted himself on, eyes on the ground in embarrassment.

"_Guest"? The prettiest girl in school and her cousin just found out I'm homeless, _he thought to himself in disgust. _ Shigune-san even laughed at me! I-I'm so stupid. Earlier today, I actually thought Yukiko-hime might like me, but-_

"Honda-san, a-are you alright?" said Yukiko, stepping forward timidly towards Tohru. She was still surpised that she'd called him "Tohru-kun" out loud. It was so…familiar. Yukiko barely knew Tohru! So she could barely believe it herself when she raised her hand to Tohru's cheek and brushed off a bit of sylvan soil. "Umm! Honda-san, h-how long have you been living out here? Are you eating enough? Oh, you poor boy. Come have some tea at our house."

Tohru was surprised at Yukiko's offer, but, starving as he was, nevertheless accepted. Yukiko herself was even more surprised at her boldness. She couldn't stop blushing. But she felt so bad for the boy…he seemed like such a sweet, sensitive guy, not cut out for living in the woods by himself. She wondered what horrible circumstances had pushed him into that. It would have been different if Tohru were some tough guy..but he _wasn't. _He reminded Yukiko of some little lost kid…it brought out her maternal instincts. So, bold or not, she'd invited him into her home. Soon enough, the boy with the sad, sweet brown eyes was sitting at her table drinking tea (the only thing Yukiko could make without burning it). _I KNEW something was up when Honda-san said he lived nearby, _ thought Yukiko. _All around us is just Sohma-owned woods!_

Shigune, being the more rude of the two girls, said what Yukiko would never say out loud. "So, Honda-kun," said Shigune softly, staring at the dregs of her tea, "How did you wind up in a tent on our land?"

"T-this is your land, Sohma-nesan?" Tohru asked Shigune, eyes wide. "How rude of me. I would have asked your permission first if I'd known! Will you lent me rent a campsite?"

"Relax, Honda-kun," Shigune giggled. "It's not your fault. Now, take this," she smirked. Tohru felt something cold get shoved into his mouth. He soon realized it was a thermometer.

"See, Yukiko-chan?" Shigune smirked. "102. I was right. The boy's gotten himself sick sleeping in the woods. Ugh…_men. _So careless!"

"I-Is this true, Honda-san?" asked Yukiko. "You're sick?"

Tohru didn't _think _he was sick, but Shigune's thermometer indicated otherwise. He'd been sniffling a lot, but had assumed it was more of his crybaby nature then an indication of poor health. But maybe he'd been wrong?

It really was nice having girls fuss over him, Tohru thought. He'd never really had a mom to do that. And since his dad's accident, Tohru had really had to look after himself….something he apparently hadn't been doing all that well, since he'd gotten himself sick.

"When did you last eat, Honda-kun?" asked Yukiko, her eyes full of concern.

Tohru thought about it. He hadn't been able to go shopping for a while, so he'd been skipping breakfast and getting by on his school lunch and the stuff he made at Cooking Club. But Uoji and Hanaji didn't know that – they thought he'd been getting three square meals at his granny's, so they'd had no problem pigging out on all his Cooking Club food earlier that day. And Tohru had been too busy hiding from the Yukiko Fanclub at lunch to really eat….

"I haven't eaten all day," Tohru realized. The two girls looked back at him with tender motherly concern. Tohru was just about to tell them he was fine when Shigune looked at him like she'd just seen a ghost.

"What's the matter, Shigune-nesan?" asked Tohru. "I mean, really, I'm OK…"

"It's not that, Honda-kun," said Shigune, shaking her head. "There's just been a landslide in the woods out there."

"How do you know that?" asked Tohru.

Shigune blinked. She couldn't tell him the _real _reason she heard things he couldn't. "Woman's intuition?" she suggested, smirking, as Yukiko glared at her for almost giving them away.

"So the landslide hit the woods," said Tohru. "Y-you don't think it hit my tent, do you?"

Shigune said nothing, which confirmed Tohru's fears. Feeling less than polite but more than panicked, he ran out of the house without saying a word.

O0o

He was panting when he arrived at the wreckage of his tent. It hadn't been much of a home, but it was all he had, damnit! Tohru was freaked out. His dad's picture was in there!

"Dad!" cried Tohru hysterically. "DAD!"

"Calm down, son," said Shigune, arriving on the scene with Yukiko trailing just behind. "You're sick."

"You don't understand!" said Tohru with a surge of adrenaline and anger he wished he'd had on the ball field as he begin to dig through the muddy flotsam and jetsam of the wreckage. "MY DAD'S PHOTO IS IN THERE! DAD!"

"Stop it, Honda-kun!" cried Shigune. "You'll make yourself sicker!"

"I don't care," said Tohru as he began to cough, up his elbows in cold muck.

"I do, Honda-san," said Yukiko. Tohru realized that her eyes were glistening….over what? Him?

"My dad's under there," said Tohru weakly, wishing he were a stronger guy, that he'd hit the gym more so he could dig his dad out and not be so pathetic. "He's in a bad state. I can't stand it."

"Honda-san!" cried Yukiko. "Do you _honestly _think your father will be in a _better _state if you get yourself sick, hurt, even _killed _trying to dig him out? _Stop it_…please," said Yukiko, breaking down into femininely hysterical sobs. "For me."

Tohru stopped digging and looked at Yukiko. He didn't like making girls cry, but….Before he could decide whether or not it was justifiable, he blacked out.

As he was coming to, he heard voices.

_Shigune-san, where's the ice? His fever's getting worse. He's about to sweat through his clothes._

_Yukiko-chan, how do you expect me to find ice in this mess? You know, normal girls keep their houses clean so they can find things._

_Shigune-san, it's technically YOUR house, and YOU don't clean it, either! I've seen how neat Honda-san keeps his desk at school. He's way cleaner than us. _

_Relax, Yukiko. I found the ice. Sssh, he's waking up._

Tohru felt something cold on his forehead….the ice Shigune and Yukiko were arguing about, he guessed. He felt warm and realized he was under a blanket. _I'm inside Sohma-san's house_, he realized. _ I must have been pretty sick. I messed up. I fainted before I could find Dad…_

"It's alright, Honda-kun," said Shigune in a motherly tone. The playfulness that had been in her voice earlier was gone. "Yukiko-chan will get your dad's photograph. I need you to try to relax so you don't make your fever any worse."

"S-Sohma-san's going to dig through that….by herself?" asked Tohru weakly. "N-no. That's not right. I couldn't….and she's only a girl. There's no way. I won't let her put herself through that because I'm too weak."

"You're not weak," Shigune told him. _ Yukiko-chan certainly didn't think so, _ thought Shigune. _ Earlier she told me how strong she thought Honda-kun was to go off and live by himself. When she ran away from home, she just came to me. She's too hard on herself, I told her that. But she seems very impressed with the strength of heart possessed by Honda-kun here…._

"Yukiko-chan isn't _by herself_, really," giggled Shigune. _But Honda-kun wouldn't believe me if I told him exactly what "little friends" are giving Yukiko-chan a hand….or rather, a paw…._

"Good…" muttered Tohru through the haze of fever. "Y'know, I shoulda…..I shoulda just told my dad't.. to take care."

"What?" whispered Shigune.

"I know it sounds…stupid..but my dad….when 'e left in da mornin'….I'd say…..I'd say 'take care, Dad'. All the time….but I was crammin' for class that night. I was…I was too sleepy….didn't wake up 'fore he left that day, or say 'take care'. I was too weak to wake myself up…dat was the day….Dad got in his accident." Tohru breathed dizzily. "Shoulda….just told my dad't take care."

"You couldn't have known," whispered Shigune soothingly. "And you're not weak, Honda-kun. You are such a…._man_," she laughed softly. "Thinking you can take care of everything yourself. As if you don't need anybody."

_Maybe I do need….somebody, _thought Tohru. _To flip out over me when I'm stupid…..like this. _

O0o

_Honda Tohru here. I woke up today in Yukiko-hime's house. I even wound up wearing her fluffy pink bathrobe. I'm feeling…pretty strange._

Tohru woke up to a rap on the sliding Japanese-style door. "Honda-san?" said a soft voice. "It's me, Yukiko. I'm leaving you my b-bathrobe at the door. You sweat through all your clothes last night, so y-you should change before you get chilled again. When you're done, I-I need to talk to you."

Tohru opened the door a crack and found the aforementioned fluffy pink bathrobe on the other side. He closed the door and put it on, putting his messed-up, clammy school uniform in the corner. It felt weird wearing girl's clothes, but Yukiko was right. Tohru was shivering…he WOULD get chilled again if he kept his school uniform, which was wet with feverish sweat from last night and smelled of sickness, on.

Feeling rather silly but much warmer, he opened the door. Yukiko was sitting a little ways away with her head down. Tohru walked up to her nervously. "Thank you for letting me borrow this," he said sincerely, pointing at the bathrobe. "And I'm so grateful to you and your cousin for looking after me when I was sick last night. I'm sorry to be such a burden."

"It's no burden, Honda-san," smiled Yukiko. "You're welcome. Here," she said, indicating a paper bag, "I have something for you."

Tohru timidly took the bag. Inside was a dirty photo frame. Inside, a burly red-headed man smiled back at him, flashing a flamboyant "V" with his fingers for the camera. _Dad_, thought Tohru.

"_Arigato gozaimasu_," said Tohru. "I can't thank you enough for getting Dad back for me, Sohma-san!"

"It's no problem, Honda-san," Yukiko smiled back. "Your schoolbag is also in there, if you need it. It's a little muddy."

"That's OK," Tohru assured her. "Really. Thank you so much, Sohma-san."

Shigune stepped in, smiling at Tohru. "Glad to see you're feeling better, Honda-kun," Shigune beamed.

"Yeah, I'm much better now," Tohru agreed.

"Good," said Shigune. "Because I have a proposition for you." Yukiko's eyes narrowed. _ What was Shigune-san planning?_

"Honda-kun," said Shigune with a mischievious wink, "how do you feel about cooking and cleaning?"

"I'm really good at cooking," said Tohru. "And I enjoy it. That's why I signed up for Cooking Club at school. As for cleaning? I recently took a job in town taking out trash and doing janitor-type stuff. I'm OK with it. Why, Shigune-san?"

"So you can live with us," smiled Shigune. "As our butler!"

"WHAT?"

_L-live with Yukiko-hime? _ Tohru thought. _That would ROCK, but…..it sounds pretty bad…a guy moving in with two single ladies? Aw, man. The Yukiko Fanclub would kill me! And I couldn't tell Uoji or Hanaji….they'd think I was trying to build myself a harem or something. And it sounds awful for a guy to mooch off two nice girls. I don't want to take advantage of their kindness. Or cause a scandal when people find out I'm living in a shack in the middle of the woods with two unmarried women. That just SOUNDS creepy. And presumptuous. I-I'm not that guy. Yukiko looks surprised, too. She probably finds Shigune-san's offer improper. And I don't blame her! It's….really not appropriate. I can't accept that kind of offer! And what's this about being their butler? The house WAS pretty messy. They couldn't even find ice. I know how to clean, but….and, hey! They're girls. Isn't usually ladies who live with people and cook and clean for them? It sounds more plausible for Yukiko to be my housekeeper than for me to be her BUTLER. N-not that they think all girls should know how to cook and clean. That'd just be chauvinistic, but-_

"I can't accept your offer, Shigune-nesan," said Tohru. "It wouldn't be proper!"

Yukiko, who had been blushing in the corner thinking about the same things as Tohru, shook her head. "No, Honda-san. We asked you. We wouldn't offer if we thought you'd take advantage of the situation in any way. You seem like a really nice, respectable guy. A gentleman! That's unusual in this day and age. You're a nice guy whose fallen on hard times. Please let us help you."

"It's not as if you have anywhere else to go," reminded Shigune.

"V-Very well," said Tohru. "I will live with you as your butler. But I'll be paying rent! It's the proper thing to do."

"I won't let you," said Shigune. "THAT wouldn't be the proper thing to do. But I'll pay you for helping around the house."

Not knowing what to say, Tohru simply called upon the training his father had left him with, and said, "Thank you."

O0o

_Honda Tohru here. Somehow I've wound up living in Yukiko-hime's house. And borrowing her bathrobe. It's strange, but…_

The next time Tohru woke up, he had to think a minute before he remembered he was staying in Shigune and Yukiko's guest room.

He also was surprised to recall that he was wearing Yukiko's bathrobe. He wanted to thank Yukiko…again. But just as he stood to go find her, he heard a CRASH!

He jumped as soot and drywall and tile paneling assaulted his face. He heard a woman's voice scream, "YUKIKO!"

Tohru blinked and saw a girl with shoulder-length red hair wearing a black shirt and running shorts standing in his room. She'd apparently fallen through the roof, to Tohru's shock, but she seemed fine. She wore a tomboyish grin. "WHERE ARE YOU, YOU RAT-BITCH?" the girl screamed, not even noticing that Tohru was there.

Yukiko entered the room, wearing that ice-queen glare Tohru had only once prior seen on her sweet face. "You ditzy cat," she seethed. "What are you doing here, Kyoko-san?"

_So the girl's name was Kyoko, _ Tohru gathered. _ But what is her issue with Sohma-san?_

"I'LL FINALLY BEAT YOU TODAY, RAT GIRL!" cried Kyoko. Tohru noticed she wore a black and white ribbon tied in a bow to her wrist. Kyoko lunged at Yukiko, and Tohru panicked. _ Yukiko is just a girl! What if this hysterical woman hurt her?_

"I don't know who you are," said Tohru, "but excuse me! I will not allow you to hurt Sohma-san!"

_Gentlemen defend women, _thought Tohru. _ Even if it's from other women. _He flung his arms around Kyoko to stop her from scratching at Yukiko. It may have been bold of him, but he couldn't let her hurt Yukiko, especially after Yukiko had been so kind to him!

Yukiko's silver eyes widened, and so did Kyoko's reddish ones. "S-stop it!" she cried. Tohru suddenly found himself surrounded by white smoke…..

_Honda Tohru here. I'm living in Yukiko-hime's house now, and I'm wearing her bathrobe. It's strange…..but not as strange as seeing a red-haired girl, Kyoko, with a black and white bow on her wrist, turn into a red CAT with a black and white bow on its head!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi, everybody! I know I haven't updated in forever but I worked really hard on this new chapter! ( I even reread the manga to get it right…)**

**This time Tohru narrates in the first person for most of it (I think, if everyone likes it, I'll do that next chapter too!) **

**The gender difference is really starting to show here -_- Tohru, you player! XD Causing all kinds of hijinks for the Sohma girls already! _ **

**LOL please don't forget to review! Without further audieu, here's chapter 4.**

**Merry Christmas,**

**Storychan**

_Honda Tohru here. I'm kind of panicking right now,_

"Sh-she turned into a cat!" I cried, still holding Kyoko, - no, _a cat that used to be Kyoko_ – What the HELL?! – in my arms.

Was I dreaming?

No, I could feel the pain of cat teeth on my fingers, so that wasn't an option.

Was I drunk?

Oh, wait. I don't drink.

Had I lost my mind?

Always a possibility. But Yukiko and Shigune had seen it happen, too. So either the three of us were having a shared hallucination, or….

_This was actually happening. _

But…how?!

"Wh-wh-what did I do?!" I cried. "Did me touching her somehow make her turn into a cat?"

"Kind of," sighed Shigune, like this was perfectly normal.

"How do I put her back? " I screamed, panicking. I don't turn girls into pets every day, you know? Or ever. This is…not supposed to happen. Right?! "What do I do? What's going on? I have to fix this! Who do I call? A doctor? A vet? I GOTTA TAKE HER TO THE HOSPIT-"

My panic attack was then interrupted when a brick fell on my head. Why were bricks falling?

Oh, right.

_Kyoko/Cat had just come through the freaking ceiling._

I didn't have time to process that, either, because the brick had knocked me off my feet. Dazed, it occurred to me that I should start hitting the gym so that I didn't fall quite so easily. Klutzy girls can be cute, but a guy who can't stop himself from tipping over is just pathetic.

Something broke my fall. Something warm. And squishy. And _jiggly. _

With a wave of pleasure and then of ashamed horror, I realized it was the breasts of Yukiko and Shigune, both of whom began shrieking.

"OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!" I cried, leaping backwards immediately. "I – I would never do that on purpose, I SWEAR to God!"

No matter how cute they were, I was a gentleman, just like my father had taught me to be!

Blushing, I looked back at them to see if they believed me, and if they were going to kick me out for my accidental bout of perversion. I hoped they wouldn't hate me. They had gone out of their way to help me, after all.

What if now they thought I was a pervert? The thought sickened me. Could this get any worse?

But when I looked back, Yukiko and Shigune were gone. In their place were a cute little silver mouse, and a black poodle with a shining coat.

It had just gotten worse.

"GAAAAAAAAAAH!"

A pizza delivery girl placidly approached the Sohma house. She was here a lot – the girls who lived there apparently sucked at cooking. Which made her chuckle. Bad-cook bachelors were one thing. _Women _whose cooking was so terrible they ordered pizzas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Was uncommon enough to be hilarious.

What wasn't hilarious was the male scream she heard from the 2nd floor.

A cute brown-haired guy she'd never seen before opened the door, a cat with a black and white bow on it's head under one arm, a poodle and a rat under the other. "THEY'RE ALL ANIMALS!" the guy screamed.

"Oh, the girls who live here have pets?" she blinked. "Cool."

_Is this guy not a pet person, or something? _She wondered to herself, rolling her eyes. _I wonder who he is…..Wait. Is that a girl's bathrobe he's wearing? I…_

_I'm not even going to ask. Maybe he's one of Shigune-san's hookups? I heard she's a total whore._

"Umm, that'll be sixteen hundred ye-" She was interrupted when the poodle handed her a wad of cash. She counted it up – it was the right amount!

"Smart dog," she grinned, and walked away.

_Not spending ANY more time in that nuthouse than I have to…_she thought as she walked away. _Maybe that weird guy back there will stick around and cook for them, and I won't have to come back here anymore….._

She hoped so.

"Let go of me, you pervert!" I heard Kyoko's voice say, and realized it was coming from the cat I was holding. Blushing, I released her.

_Wait, did a cat just talk to me?_

I set down the rat and the poodle next.

Then the rat started talking, too.

Of course it did.

Because apparently my life is now an acid trip.

"H-Honda-san wasn't trying to be a pervert! H-he apologized!" I swore I saw the rat blush. It was then I realized it was speaking in the voice of Yukiko.

"R-right, Honda-san?"

I blinked.

"Ohh…..R-right!"

_THANK GOD SHE BELIEVES ME._

But now she wouldn't look at me again. I couldn't blame her.

"Mmm, Honda-san, I didn't mind…." Said the poodle….Shigune?!

"Shut up, you whore Dog," the cat hissed. "Now this boy knows our secret!"

"Well, then," the poodle/Shigune sighed. "We might as well tell him the whole story." She padded up to me, and explained, "I'm the Dog, Yukiko is the Rat, and Sohma Kyoko here is the Cat. We're possessed by their vengeful spirits. And there are 10 others in the Sohma Clan who are also possessed."

My eyes widened. _Possessed?!_

Undeterred, Shigune continued, "Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, and Boar. Yes…just like the Chinese Zodiac. For hundreds of years, the Sohma Clan has been possessed by twelve vengeful spirits that correspond to the zodiac. We don't have any special powers, or anything. Well, we can communicate with our respective animals…but when our bodies are weak, and, for some reason, when we're hugged by someone of the opposite gender, we transform. After some time, we change back into humans…."

Suddenly puffs of white smoke filled the room, and through them I saw….."OH MY GOD I'M SORRY NOT AGAIN!"

"…..but then we're completely naked."

I immediately covered my eyes and turned away. A gentleman shouldn't peek! I bet Yukiko was blushing (so was I!), and Kyoko probably thought I did this on purpose somehow….

I didn't turn around until a manicured hand tapped me on the shoulder.

"I-is it safe?" I asked.

"Yes, Honda-kun," giggled Shigune, who I looked and saw was in a fresh kimono. "Such a good boy," she teased. "Hiding your face like that. I half expected you to look…"

"I- I would never!"

I seriously wouldn't. It's wrong. No matter how beautiful the Sohmas were, I couldn't take advantage of the…_highly _unusual situation I'd found myself in.

I mean, seriously…..curses and pretty shapeshifter girls? It didn't sound real.

"Doing ok?" Shigune asked.

I blinked at her, and noticed for the first time that Yukiko was behind her in a grey dress, blushing and not meeting my gaze.

"I-I'm so sorry about earlier!" I told her, blushing myself. "I didn't see anything, I swear….Please don't hate me, Yukiko-san…."

"I-I don't hate you," Yukiko muttered, looking up at me finally. "It's the curse's fault, not yours."

Still, it was big of her not to get mad. I found myself blushing, too.

"In that case," I said, turning back to Shigune, "Yeah, I'm ok….I guess….."

_So, _I thought. _These girls are possessed by the spirits of the zodiac. This is a terrible secret I've learned. I can tell Yukiko-san didn't want anybody to find out. I'd heard rumors about her avoiding guys. This explains why. _

"By the way, Tohru-kun," Shigune smiled at me. "You said you liked the Cat. What do you think now that you've met her in person?"

My gaze then fell on Kyoko, who was back in the clothes I'd seen her in earlier. So…she was the Cat!

"Kyoko-chan's such a ditz," Shigune giggled. "I mean, she's a total tomboy, so much that she's taking martial arts, yet she still let one guy – and not even an intidimating one, no offense- just walk up and grab her? _Pfft. _So much for the training she's always telling us about. Don't feel too bad, Honda-kun. She should've known better."

I wasn't too sure. Shigune's rationale felt too much like victim blaming to me. I mean, Kyoko was just a _girl_, right?

Another giggle. "She's like a schoolgirl with a crush…The only thing she notices is Yukiko-chan!"

"S-SHUT UP!" Kyoko cried, jumping up. I noticed her face was flushed. "Don't say it like that! W-why the hell was a creepy strange guy in the house to grab me in the first place?!"

Now she was making ME sound bad. Oh, man….I'd barely met this girl, and already she thought I was a creep and a perv!

"Be nice," Yukiko told her. "You were the one who burst through the ceiling, ok? It's not all Honda-kun's fault." Was that a blush on her face? "B-besides, he was just trying to protect me."

At least Yukiko trusted my intentions.

"Anyway," Yukiko continued, getting that ice queen look on her face again, "whether there's a boy in the house shouldn't concern you. You're an outcast, remember?"

"SHUT UP!" cried Kyoko again, and suddenly she was moving so fast toward Yukiko in a way I didn't think a girl even _could. _Before I even knew what was happening, a table – _how did such a small girl move a table with such force? _– was flying at me.

I'd clearly underestimated Kyoko. Shigune's shock that she wasn't able to stop me from grabbing her made more sense now.

"Tohru-kun!" cried Shigune, her eyes full of motherly concern, "you're bleeding!"

I raised a hand to my forehead and it came away bloody, confirming that she was right.

I hadn't even noticed.

"He's a guy who's twice my size, and he just stood there and let a girl hit him?" sniffed Kyoko. "Pathetic."

Suddenly, Yukiko slapped Kyoko!

"How dare you!" Yukiko cried. "Just because he's a guy, doesn't mean it's ok to _hurt _him! He's not trained like us! Don't call him pathetic!"

It felt weird having a girl defend me. Man, Kyoko was kind of right. I've never been able to defend myself like a real man.

In my self-loathing, I almost didn't catch what Yukiko said next. "Just for that, even if you're a ditz, it's on, Kyoko! Bring it!"  
>'You bring it, twinkle-toes!" growled Kyoko, and suddenly she was aiming to scratch Yukiko's eyes out!<p>

Yukiko blocked her!

"Sohma-chan!" I called to Kyoko, horrified (unlike some guys?) that I'd just started a catfight.

"Don't worry," Shigune told me, again surprisingly blasé. "It's not your fault. Those two fight every time they lay eyes on each other."

She laid a damp cloth on my forehead. "Let's focus on stopping this bleeding," she smiled, and began wiping some of the blood away. My eyes were still fixed on the other two girls – especially my new defender, Yukiko.

I remembered the cold ice queen look she'd gotten when I'd mentioned cats on our earlier walk to school. I'd been wrong….this ran _much _deeper than 'just a dog person' (come to think of it, she didn't get along that well with her poodle cousin either).

"So, still a Cat fan?" Shigune chuckled as she placed a Band-Aid on my head gingerly. I was still more worried about the catfight going down all around us.

"Shouldn't we stop them?" I asked.

"Nah," Shigune giggled. "It's almost over already. Yukiko-chan….always wins."

I looked back over and saw Kyoko grab a fistful of Yukiko's long, silver hair.

Yukiko wrenched free of her grasp and, with a cruel smirk I didn't expect to see on her face, leaned closer to Kyoko and backhanded her, knocking her off her feet and right out the window!

"I thought I said," Yukiko grinned, "to bring it."

"Oh my gosh is Sohma-chan OK?" I cried.

Shigune seemed to think so, as she just told Yukiko, "Don't destroy my house, please!"

"I'm sorry, Shigune," Yukiko replied. "I didn't think she'd fly that far! Her guard is terrible." Then, she approached me. "Honda-san, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," I said. _I'm more concerned about the girl you tossed out a window!_

I would never have guessed that a tiny little girl like Yukiko was that strong.

She was stronger than _I _was.

"She'll be fine," Yukiko assured me, seemingly reading my mind.

_Sohma-san never pulled a stunt like this in P.E._, I thought. _She must not want people at school to know that she can…_

"OH MY GOSH SCHOOL!"

I was going to be late!

"But, Honda-san," Yukiko reminded me. "All your uniforms are muddy…"

"I'm a guy," I grinned. "A little dirt doesn't bother me."

OK, lie. I'm a neat freak. It does. But what else was I supposed to do?

"It's more than _ a little _dirt, Honda-san!"

"I'll tell people I fell down, uh, motorbiking or something!"

Normal guys motorbike, right? Not that I did.

"Nobody will believe that," Shigune sighed.

Was it really that obvious that I wasn't the biker type?

….Who do I think I'm kidding?

It totally was.

But…

"I'm sorry, I really do have to get going," I told Shigune with a polite bow.

"That's fine," Shigune smiled. "I need to visit Akiko-san, the matriarch of our clan, and tell her what's happened here. That our family secret has gotten out."

"Matriarch of the clan?" I blinked. "Sounds like a very important woman. I understand."

Once Tohru left, Yukiko's expression got even more chilly. She glared at Shigune.

"You plan on having Honda-san's memories suppressed, don't you?" She felt like crying. "Like last time?"

Shigune shook her head. "That's not my plan. Last time, there were too many people, and we _had _to, ok?"

"I have to get to school, too," was all Yukiko said in reply. Then, she turned to Kyoko. "You're the one who broke the roof, so don't go telling Honda-san he has to fix it all by himself just because he's the man of the house. You can help, ok, ditzy Cat?"

"It'll be ok, Kyoko-chan," smiled Shigune. "Housesit for me while we're both out, ok? And apologize to Tohru-kun later- Yukiko-chan's right. This isn't _all _his fault."

_Tohru here again._

I'm glad I was able to use the school's washing machine. And I'm also glad my friends are total idiots.

"So, man, your uniform's a total wreck….where were you motorbiking when you fell?" Uoji asked.

He totally swallowed my story! Before I could think of a lie to support it, one of the guys from the Yukiko Fan Club came up to me. "Honda went motorbiking?" he sneered. "Ha! Yeah, right. He's too much of a pussy."

Hanaji made him shut up with one glare. He's a tough guy. Or maybe it's just that everyone around thinks he's a wizard. Either way, I was grateful.

If that guy picked a fight, I would've been screwed. It's kind of embarrassing, but I've always needed somebody to defend me, like Hanaji.

Or, today, Yukiko.

"Yukiko-hime is late today, too," Uoji noticed. "No wonder those guys are pissed."

_NOBODY can find out I'm LIVING with Yukiko-hime!_

"I-I'm going to go change," I decided.

"Need me to come with you in case those fanclub guys try to jump you or something?" Hanaji asked.

"Thanks, man," I said. "But I'm fine."

It felt bad lying to my bros, but what was I supposed to do?

Let the fan club kill me when the truth got out?

When I was done changing into my now-clean uniform, I found Yukiko waiting outside for me.

"Honda-san!" she called, and dashed over to me.

"You,…you didn't tell, did you?" she whispered. "About us?"

The poor girl looked pretty scared. Like she was going to cry.

"No!" I told her. "Gosh, I'm sorry, I made you nervous, didn't I? I..I'd never tell anyone, ok? My dad always told me snitching's wrong! If he caught a snitch, he'd, like, cut them! Or take their fingers, or-"

Aaaaand now I'd scared Yukiko even more. I could tell she was wondering what kind of guy my dad was.

But then I saw tears start to spill from her eyes. "Y-y-you're trying so hard to protect me and my secret," she sobbed. "B-but it might not be enough, I'm sorry! They…they might have to take your memories away."

_My memories?_

"I say take," Yukiko explained. "But it's more like hypnotic suppression."

Drying her eyes, she continued, "A long time ago, our secret got out, like today. I was in second grade. We…" She'd started sniffling again. Poor sweetheart. "We were playing in the garden at the main house and some boy got carried away and hugged me. So many people saw that we wound up having to suppress the memories of everybody there."

A bitter memory bloomed in Yukiko's mind.

_Akiko._

_Akiko, am I ugly? Am I so ugly as a rat that we have to make people forget seeing me?_

_Yes, you're ugly. Aren't rats such ugly animals? If normal people knew your secret they wouldn't think you were pretty anymore. They'd stay away from you._

_Nobody would ever love you._

"Sohma-san…" I began. Yukiko's tears were breaking my heart.

"I cannot defy Akiko's wishes," Yukiko explained sadly, pausing to dry her eyes again. "What she decides is what is going to happen. So…I'm sorry. Y-you never should have had to deal with stupid Sohma Clan drama. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know that!"

She turned away, but I couldn't let her just leave like that, not when she was so visibly upset. So, not thinking, I reached out for her….

And found myself with a rat in my hands. "Gosh I'm sorry!" I cried, releasing her. "I'm so stupid. I didn't mean to do that, I swear…."

"It's ok," said Rat!Yukiko. "A-as long as nobody saw me. But…thank you for worrying about me."

"If it makes you feel better," I told her, having never seen a rat cry before and not wanting to now, "I'm…ok. I mean, I'm the one that messed up and discovered your family's secret. You had to tell the matriarch of your clan what I did. That's not your fault. Please do whatever you have to, ok? Don't feel bad on my account."

This girl had defended me to her cousin, and even forgiven me for two accidentally perverted mishaps, AND offered to let me stay rent-free at her house. If anything, _I _should be the one apologizing and feeling bad.

She had been so kind to me. Girls shouldn't have to protect guys….but she did. Girls shouldn't forgive guys for being pervs…but she did. Girls shouldn't let random homeless guys they meet in the woods live with them….but she did.

I didn't want to forget all she'd done for me.

But I'd grin and bear it if that was what I had to do to make her tears stop.

I owed her that much.

"C-can you do me one more favor, though?" I asked. "If you have to erase my memories….will you still be my friend?"

Before she could answer, a puff of white smoke appeared, and I knew by now to immediately cover my eyes.

"It didn't take that long to change back this time," I heard Yukiko say, and opened my eyes to see her uniform was back on, but….

"Sohma-chan, your ribbon's still untied." I reached to tie it for her, surprised. "Let me fix it for you. It's my turn to do something for you."

_If normal people knew your secret, they wouldn't think you were pretty anymore._

"Honda-san…." Yukiko asked timidly. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"No, you don't look sick!"

_He thought I asked if I look sickly, _Yukiko realized with a sigh.

"Hey, Sohma-chan….is it ok if I walk home with you?"

"Y-yes!"

_Will you still be my friend?_

When we got back, Shigune didn't seem to be home yet, so I went to go throw my stuff in my room.

I was surprised to find that a _girl _was patching up my roof.

And even more surprised that said girl was Kyoko.

"This morning," Kyoko started to say. "I'm sor-"

"AND LET'S NOT FORGET DITZ-KYOKO-CHAN-WHO-LOST-ANOTHER-CATFIGHT!" came Shigune's loud voice from downstairs, and Kyoko looked away from me again. "YUKIKO-CHAN, TOHRU-KUN, I'M HOME!"

"Forget it," Kyoko growled, and sashayed out of the room.

"What? Wait…" I sighed.

"Good news," Shigune grinned when I got downstairs. "As long as he keeps the secret, Tohru-kun can stay!"

I couldn't hide my relief. "I won't be punished?"

"What?" Shigune blinked. "No! Just don't tell, ok?"

"O-of course not!"

I wouldn't lose my memories!

"One more thing," Shigune grinned mischieviously. "She wants Kyoko-chan to stay here, too."

"What?" Kyko cried. "I don't want to live with that bitch Yukiko!"

"Don't blame me," Shigune pouted. "Akiko-san's word is law."

"DAMMIT, AKIKO!" Kyoko seethed.

"I knew it," Yukiko sighed. "But," she whispered to Shigune, "to involve Tohru….you and Akiko….aren't _scheming _anything, right?"

A bitter memory of Shgune's own.

_I'll trust this Tohru-san…This may even prove fortuitous for Yukiko and Kyoko..and even for me._

_Yukiko does have good instincts, but still…proceed with caution._

"Noooo," pouted Shigune exaggeratedly. "You should be more trusting of people, Yukiko-chan!"

"Excuse me," interrupted Tohru. "I just wanted to thank you again…for taking care of me."

Yukiko blushed.

"You too, Kyoko-san," Tohru added with a bow.

"Why should I do anything for anyone in this-"

The fingers of the Rat laced through the Cat's hair, pushing her through another window..

"…house."

_And that was how I, - Tohru Honda,here! -came to be cared for by the Sohma girls. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Last time, most of the chapter was Tohru's POV, but with Tohru-less scenes and memories, out of necessity, not. Sorry if it was confusing….Tohru narrates again this time, mostly, because I think people liked it better that way…..or maybe I'm wrong?**

**Let me know which POV you prefer. And thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and/or followed last time! **_**Fruits Flip **_**is officially my most popular fic now. My genderflip AUs are what everyone seems to like most from me(If you're a **_**Yu Gi Oh 5Ds**_** or **_**Percy Jackson and the Olympians**_** fan, please check out my genderflips of those series as well.) **

**I didn't expect it to get so popular….I originally started writing **_**Fruits Flip **_**purely to mess with my Tohru-hating friend's head. (She hates Sakura of **_**Naruto**_** too, but somehow is a fangirl of my male Sakura in my shelved genflip fic **_**Naruko**_**! I don't get it…. -_-) **

**Somebody asked me about Tohru's self-deprecating/self-loathing in a review….Tohru….Well, like canon Tohru he's innocent, vulnerable, physically weak, and skilled at cooking and cleaning. Unlike canon Tohru, however, he knows that isn't what "cool" manly men (like his dad or Uoji) are like. And he's like "Sigh…" LOL He wants to be a tough guy, but he knows he can't!**

**Anway, here's Chapter 5. Enjoy, and please review.**

**-Storychan**

Later, that night, ,I figured I should get started on my "butler" duties and earn my keep. I mean, I really owed these girls for taking me in. I'd be homeless without them. It took me a couple hours to clean up the kitchen (Yukiko and Shigune really were messy….but who am I to complain?) and then started fixing dinner for myself and my three new girl roommates (seriously can't believe that happened, still – sounds like the setup for a harem comedy).

I was so focused on the stove I was bent over that I didn't even notice Yukiko was in the room until she said something to me.

"Wow, Honda-san, you've worked wonders on this kitchen!"

I blushed and turned to look at her. She was wearing a different grey dress with a Chinese collar.

"Well, I know cleaning isn't really a skill most guys brag about, but…."

"Well, I might be a girl," chuckled Yukiko. "But I'm terrible with domestic skills, so I'm grateful."

I set a bowlful of rice in front of her. She slowly took a bite. "Wow, it's good!" she complimented me, smiling.

"R-really? It's not too bland? I mean, I may not look it, but I can cook much fancier stuff, if you want."

I didn't tell her why: When the other, _normal _boys were playing catch or running around outside, I was watching Food Network and baking cookies like a total girl. I'd gotten picked on for it, especially after I became the first guy to join the Cooking Club at school. But I was glad, at least, that my domestic talents allowed to me repay Yukiko for her kindness.

"No, this is perfect!" Yukiko smiled. "I haven't eaten this well for awhile."

I briefly wondered how she and her cousins had gotten through life without ever learning to cook. Most girls I knew had moms who cooked with them all the time. I wondered why Yukiko and Kyoko were living with Shigune instead of with their own mothers.

"Where did Shigune and that ditz Cat go?" Yukiko asked, seeming to read my mind again.

'They left awhile ago," I told her. "It is getting pretty late, though."

"Whatever," Yukiko shrugged. "But it's a shame their food will get cold."

_Dad, do you know how strange this is? _I thought to myself. _I'm eating dinner with the famous Yukiko-hime…..who turns into the Rat of the zodiac legends. _

_I would never have believed a fantasy like could be the reality of a guy like me. _

_I'd call it a fairy tale, but I know I'm no knight. So how did I wind up eating with this mystical "princess"?_

"You were out earlier, too, right, Sohma-san?" I asked, trying to break myself of my bittersweet reverie. "Where were you, shopping?"

Shopping's a girl thing, right? Then again, so is cooking, and Yukiko doesn't do that. Fighting isn't a traditional feminine occupation, either, but Yukiko is certainly capable of it. I realize that I don't know that much about Yukiko and her hobbies, actually.

"I was at my secret base," Yukiko replied.

"Secret base?" I repeated, surprised. Secret bases were another non-feminine pursuit. "I used to know some guys when I was little who had a secret base. Like, a fort. But they'd never let me play with them."

_I cooked pretty pink cupcakes all the time so they thought I was gay and told me stay out._

'_No GIRLS allowed," I remember them snickering. _

_Later, Uoji kicked their asses._

"It's not really the same thing, I don't think," giggle Yukiko. "But if you want, I'll show it to you next time I'm there."

"That'd be great!" I grinned. Sure, it wasn't girly, but if it was Yukiko's, I still wanted to go, if only to find out more about her.

The warm and fuzzy atmosphere we'd been building was immediately dispelled when Kyoko stormed in, with Shigune right behind. They'd obviously been arguing.

"SHUT UP!" Kyoko shrieked, rushing past me without greeting.

"Just listen to me for a second, Kyoko!" Shigune pleaded. I was surprised to notice that her hair was styled a little fancier, and instead of a kimono, she wore a little black dress.

"Do you enjoy being a manipulative bitch and meddling with my life?" Kyoko screamed at her.

"Now, that you mention it, yes," Shigune admitted. "But it's for your own good!"

"Girl," Kyoko sniffed, hands on her hips. "Your persuasive skills suck!"

'Umm, welcome home!" I told her, trying to soothe her. "Dinner's rea-"

"NOT HUNGRY!" Kyoko interrupted, and turned on her high heels and sped out of the room.

"Kyoko!" Shigune chided. "Don't take this out on Tohru-kun! The nice boy even cooked for you. How many guys do that? And come back to the entrance hall and take off your shoes!"

Yukiko and I noticed that Shigune still hadn't removed her own stilettos.

"She's right, Shigune," Yukiko giggled. "Your persuasive skills do suck."

"Shigune, this is the first time I've seen you in a dress," I said, changing the subject. "You look really cute in it."

Shigune blushed. "Y-you think so?"

"You look like Vana White," replied Yukiko dryly.

"Dinner's ready," I sighed. "If you don't mind me asking, why is Kyoko…."

"Best to leave Miss Mood Swings alone right now," Shigune said, shaking her head. "I tricked her into taking the entrance exam."

"Entrance exam?" I blinked, confused.

"Starting tomorrow, Kyoko-chan," Shigune grinned, "Will be attending the same high school as you two."

Yukiko leapt up, obviously furious. "NOOOOOO!" she whined. "Don't eat with me! Get out! I'll never ever talk to you again, Shigune!"

"I figured you'd get your panties in a twist over this," Shigune sighed. "And I was right."

To me, she explained, "Last time Kyoko took the test, she didn't attend the local all-girl high school, even though she passed. Instead, she went missing for four months. Terrified everyone. We thought she was a victim of human trafficking or something. Girls can't just _vanish _like that without people thinking the worst! I didn't know where she was. Yukiko-chan didn't, nobody did! Turns out, she'd been training in the mountains, like she thought she was some Shaolin monk or something. But she's just a _girl. _I was really worried."

"Training?" I repeated. I'd seen her catfight with Yukiko, but why did she feel the need to train like some kung fu movie hero? She may have been a more serious fighter chick than I'd initially assumed.

"Like sitting under waterfalls and visiting her spirit guide bear?" Yukiko snorted. "That kind of training?"

"Something like that, I suppose," replied Shigune.

"Why did she do that?" I asked. Why would a simple high school girl push herself that hard? It was more than non-feminine, it was _dangerous _for a girl to wander alone through the mountains!

I'm a guy and even I wouldn't do that.

"Kyoko wants to beat Yukiko-chan in a fight," explained Shigune.

"A fight?" I repeated, shocked. "Not just the hair-pulling normal girl stuff I've seen so far, but, like, a martial arts match or something?"

Shigune nodded. "Ever since they were little, she's considered herself Yukiko's rival."

"That ditz," Yukiko muttered.

_She wants to defeat Sohma-chan so badly she became an actual martial artist – which I guess Yukiko is too – and risked a dangerous solo mountain journey to train for that purpose? _I thought to myself, stunned that a girl could do something so dangerous and badass without being scared for her safety. _Is it because she holds a grudge about being tricked, like in the story?_

_It's not like I can go up to Kyoko-san and ask her._

_I think Kyoko-san hates me, and thinks I'm some kind of creepy perv. It's kind of sad. I finally meet the Cat from the zodiac, and…._

"Where? Where is she?!" I heard the guys at school screaming the next day.

"Look over there! The chick with the orange hair!"

"What? No way, man! They don't look alike at all!"

"Did she dye her hair or somethin'?"

"She's hot!"

One of the guys actually approached Kyoko. "Hey, you really Yukiko-hime's cousin?" he asked.

"You two get along?" asked his buddy.

"Hey guys, you look like you're scarin' her. Back off," advised a third, but he himself sidled up closer to Kyoko, who looked like she might deck him. "Don't be scared, cutie," he grinned cheesily. "I'll protect you."

Kyoko's red eyes narrowed at him dangerously.

"Yukiko-hime!" called another guy – this time, it wsn't even someone in our class! "Is it true your cousin just transferred here? Could ya introduce us?"

Yukiko offered the guy a cold smile. "Sorry, Sempai," she said politely. "She is my cousin, but we're not that close."

"Her hair's pretty wild, huh?" the guy continued.

"I don't even speak to her," Yukiko lied.

Uoji looked from Kyoko to me. "It's a little like Kyouya-san's hair color," he noticed with a raised eyebrow.

_My dad's?_

"Now that you mention it," I realized. "It is." As a guy, I don't pay that close attention to hair. If Kyoko cut hers, I probably wouldn't notice that, either.

But Hanaji nodded. "They're exactly the same." His eyes narrowed. "I feel the same waves from him as I do from Sohma Yukiko. I wonder why….Their waves are so different from other people's. Almost inhuman."

"Whoa, that's mean, dude!" Uoji protested.

But I silently wondered if maybe Hanaji was sensing their zodiac-ness and didn't realize it. I never get what that guy's talking about when he starts reporting on people's waves. But he's my best bro, like Uoji, so I don't complain, you know?

"Sohma-chan!" I heard one of our guy classmates call to Kyoko. "Where ya goin', sweetheart?"

It was the same guy who tried flirting with her, which I could tell she didn't appreciate. He grasped her arm as she tried to walk away.

Kyoko shrieked and slapped him. He went flying!

She was officially _way _stronger than I thought.

"Kyoko-san!" I cried. I know she didn't want anything to do with that skeezy guy, but what if she got detention for fighting?

"What the hell!" a guy cried. :"She just smacked him down!"

"Crazy bitch!"

"How'd she even _do _that? He was twice her size!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" shrieked Kyoko, and leapt for the window!

A girl screamed. "This is the 2nd floor! Don't jump, you'll die!"

I watched her leap out the window and my heart almost stopped. I ran over to the window. "Oh my god is she OK?!"

The girl needed to learn her limits! What if she got hurt?!

But when I looked out the window, I saw she'd landed, perfectly fine, on her feet. My jaw dropped as I watched her run away.

"Did you see that? I thought she'd hurt herself for sure, poor thing! That was amazing!" said one guy.

"Amazing? Try creepy! What's with that Amazon woman?" another guy replied.

"I can't believe she smacked Sempai….I wanna recruit her for Karate Club!" one guy grinned.

"Dude, she might kill you," another joked.

"Interesting girl," Uoji laughed. Hanaji had started trying to fix my tie, which was screwed up.

I merely sweatdropped, unsure what to think.

_Kyoko-san…_

Yukiko found Kyoko panting in the parking lot. Her pretty new sailor uniform was all dirty. Typical.

"Chill out, will you?" Yukiko told Kyoko, silver eyes narrowed. "When you act like some crazy firecracker chick, it's embarrassing. Did you leave your grace and charm at home this morning?"

"You're crazy," Kyoko replied. "Why do you go to school with a bunch of _boys_?!"

"Because it's better than being some scared little damsel," Yukiko told her. "And going to an all-girl school on Akiko's orders." She sighed. "I just want out of the Sohma Clan's little Rapunzel tower. I can't understand why you want to be some kind of Rapunzel-chan yourself."

Kyoko's expression darkened into anger. "A Rat girl would never understand," she sighed.

I'd gone after Kyoko after Hanaji fixed my tie. I found her screaming at Yukiko in the parking lot.

"This time I'll defeat you!" I heard her cry. "I'll become a part of your little Zodiac clique! I won't be iced out by the Sohma Clan any longer like some kind of social leper!"

_Part of the Zodiac?_

"I'll defeat you!" Kyoko shrieked again, and raised a hand to strike Yukiko.

I caught that hand, crying, "Please don't fight!"

I lost my balance and fell into Kyoko's arms. I landed on my knees with a cat with a black and white bow on its ear in front of me.

'I-I'm sorry," I told Kyoko the Cat. "I know you're in a bad mood, but if you get in a catfight – no pun intended – with her on school grounds, you'll get detention. I don't want you to get in trouble on your first day."

Kyoko in cat form hissed at me. "JUST SHUT UP AND GO AWAY, JERK!" she howled. "I DON'T CARE IF I GET IN TROUBLE AS LONG AS I DEFEAT YUKIKO SO DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO LIKE YOU"RE BOSS OR SOMETHING JUST CUZ YOU'RE A GUY! I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, MY DAD OR SOMETHING? I CAN'T EVEN STAND LOOKING AT YOU, YOU PATHETIC PUNK!"

My eyes widened. Guys aren't supposed to cry, but I felt like it.

_I can't even stand looking at you, you pathetic punk!_

I knew immediately that this was Kyoko's maximum fury.

She hated me.

She honestly hated me.

I took off running so she wouldn't think I was even more pathetic when she saw my tears.

"You know," seethed Yukiko, "you really are a ditz."

"You're not going to, I don't know, bitchslap me or pull my hair?" Kyoko asked, not meeting her gaze.

"No," Yukiko replied. "Unlike you, I can be a lady sometimes. I'm just going to sit here and let you think about what a classless little witch you've just been."

_I always felt so bad for the Cat. I'd rather be a Cat than a Dog._

I said that as a little boy and I meant it. Maybe it's girly and pathetic, but I actually cried.

When God and the 12 animals were feasting, the Cat was at home, dreaming of a feast it was already too late to attend. Poor thing- sleeping softly, with no idea it'd been tricked.

I liked the Cat so much that I almost founded a fanclub once.

But she hates me.

"Duuuuuude, Tohru-kun!" I heard Uoji call. I'd run into a hallway inside the school building and was kneeling in front of a fire extinguisher.

"I knew I heard Tohru-kun's waves," Hanaji smiled, appearing in front of me with Uoji in tow.

"Man, what're you doing out here?" Uoji asked. "We gotta get to class." Then, he looked at me, and I knew he could tell I'd been crying.

Crying over a girl's not something a real man like him would do, I bet. So to save face, I told him I'd hit my head on the fire extinguisher.

I could tell he didn't believe me, but he let it slide. I'm grateful for that, and that he doesn't seem to think I'm a wuss.

I sure feel like a wuss.

"Respectable young ladies don't cut class," Shigune chided Kyoko back at the house. "Especially not on their first day. Let me guess. You got in a catfight with Yukiko-chan and lost. Again."

"I….I want to leave this house," muttered Kyoko, reclining on the floor in a decidedly unladylike fashion.

"You've only been here three days," Shigune protested, getting ink on her kimono sleeve as she was trying to write and talk at the same time. "This can't be more difficult than that crazy mannish training you did, can it?"

"I'm always…..such a shrew….when I talk to him," Kyoko sighed.

"Him?" Shigune repeated. "You mean Tohru-kun?" She giggled. "So you were in your usual good mood today, huh? If you're going to pout afterwards, maybe you should just be sweeter to him in the first place. Just a thought."

"I….can't help it," Kyoko said sadly. "I'm not made to be a social butterfly, or a proper lady like that Rat."

"No girl is born a graduate of charm school," Shigune reminded her. "Social grace? Charm? A demure attitude? Those are things you have to practice. You're just inexperienced. I mean, you can turn into some crazy Xena and break this table with your fist. But you also have the self-control to stop your fist before you break it. That's something you had to practice, too. It's the result of all that consulting with your spirit guide bear in the mountains."

"I DON'T HAVE A SPIRIT GUIDE BEAR!"

"You're missing my point," Shigune giggled. "It's the same as being a lady when you talk to people. But training for that can't be done in the mountains – you have to stay here in town, where people live. Mingling with people, hurting them, getting hurt by them…that's how you learn about others…and about yourself. You may be a black belt fighter, but you're still a white belt when it comes to deportment and elegance. For the sake of the boy who will one day tell you he loves you….Please keep training."

"As if any boy would profess love for a shapeshifting Amazon freak like me," Kyoko muttered dejectedly.

"What if one did?" asked Shigune.

"I can't even imagine," Kyoko admitted. "I guess I'd ask what was wrong with him."

"Oh, really," muttered Shigune.

Just then, Yukiko's voice sounded through the room. "I'm home!"

"Welcome back," Shigune grinned. "Where's Tohru-kun?"

"Work," Yukiko explained. "He said dinner's made, we just have to warm it up."

"I love a man who can cook," sighed Shigune dreamily.

"He'll be home at eleven," said Yukiko, ignoring Shigune's comment with naught but a blush. "I think I'll walk him home."

"Good idea," Shigune replied. "The boy may be a great butler, but he's a terrible fighter. I warned him about some of the _yakuza _thugs who hang around these parts at night."

Yukiko silently wondered why Shigune assumed she, a high school girl, would be able and willing to protect Tohru from _yakuza._

She could, of course, but since when were _girls_ immediately expected to protect _guys_?

Since when had she become Tohru's official protector?

The boy was really worming his way into her life, she realized with a soft smile.

After I got off from my job as a janitor at a building downtown, I received a text from Yukiko saying she'd gotten busy with student council stuff and couldn't come pick me up, after all.

That's fine. I didn't expect her to.

As I walked home, I found myself more worried about Kyoko. Had she skipped dinner again? Did she leave the house?

_I can't even stand looking at you, you pathetic punk!_

Dad, what should I do?

He always told me to be myself and not let haters get to me. He's right. I shouldn't cry like a girl because Kyoko doesn't like me. I don't know why I care so much what she thinks.

Suddenly, I heard a loud rustling in the bushes behind me. Aw, man….was it one of the _yakuza _thugs Shigune had warned me about? They were coming toward me…..I screamed and swung my backpack at them.

_See, I'm no wuss. I can take care of myself!_

Then, I looked at the person I'd hit, and realized in horror that it wasn't a _yakuza _guy. In fact, it wasn't a guy at all.

It was Kyoko.

_Oh my GOD! _I thought. _I just hit a GIRL! Something my dad taught me never to do! How am I supposed to explain that I thought she was a _yakuza _guy? She'd never believe me, one, and, two, she'd take it as a crack about her not-so-feminine nature! Is she ok? She's REALLY going to hate me now! I don't want her to think I'm that kind of guy! What do I do? _

_He just hit me! _Kyoko thought. _I know he's not the kind of guy who usually does stuff like that, so he must really hate me! Or maybe he just knew I could defend myself? I don't care if a guy hits me…I mean, I'm fully capable of kicking a guy's ass. But why did he do that? I must have really pissed him off to make him not be his usual gentleman self. _

"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" I cried to Kyoko. "I…I just hit you my backpack…but I guess you know that….I swear, I don't usually hit girls….Please forgive me. Are you OK? Are you hurt? Were you OK at school today, Kyoko-san?…."

"Just stop it," Kyoko snapped at me.

She wasn't going to forgive me, was she? I bet she thought I did it on purpose.

"Being called '-san' makes me twitch," she said, to my surprise.

_That _was what she was taking issue with? I know she was a fighter type chick, so I figured she wasn't hurt, but still. She cared more about my grammar than the fact that I'd just _hit _her?

Was she used to getting knocked around? Did she expect guys to act like this?

That didn't sit well with me.

"Just call me Kyoko," said Kyoko, bringing me back to reality.

I wasn't sure. It sounded impolite.

_Well, can't be more impolite than hitting her with your backpack, can it?_

"Kyoko…..-chan?"

"What?" Kyoko asked.

"Nothing," I sighed. "I just wanted to try it."

"Don't call my name if you got nothing to say!" Kyoko snapped. Maybe she was upset that I'd backpacked her, after all. I fully expected her to be. It actually bothered me more that she _didn't _seem to mind. Like she didn't think being a girl meant she should be treated with a little more respect.

Then, her expression softened. "Never mind. It's ok. You can call my name even if you _don't _have something to say. And…I take back what I said, about not wanting to look at you, and that you were pathetic. And if I do something to piss me off – I know I'm a girl, but I can _take _it, ok? I'm not like most girls. I'm a black belt, I know how to take a hit. S-so….don't think of me as a weak girl you have to treat different. If you're angry at me, you can hit me."

My eyes widened. Was that twisted ramble an….apology?

Was that what she was doing out here in the dark?

And….when she was fixing my roof – _I should've done that myself. She may be a strong girl, but she's still a girl. I don't care what she thinks, my gentleman's code still applies to her. _– was she trying to apologize then, too?

"I wasn't mad at you," I explained. "And I didn't hit you on purpose! I would never do that to _any _girl, even an amazingly strong one like you, Kyoko-chan! I hit you because I thought you were a thug."

"A….thug?" Kyoko blinked, blushing.

"I'd never be mad at you," I told her. "I mean, I _love _you. I've always loved the Cat from the zodiac!"

"H-huh?" Kyoko flushed.

I drew closer to her, but gently, trying not to be threatening. I don't care what kind of pseudo-feminist defense about how she's strong Kyoko wants to offer, I think girls should be treated with gentleness. Always. No exceptions.

_Even if she CAN kick my ass._

"It's true. I wanted to be born in the Year of the Cat!" I explained. "Err…I mean….I want to be friends!"

_What if one did? If a boy told you he loved you?_

Kyoko blushed deeply crimson. It looked cute on her. Made her look….softer.

Then, she looked down. "It's not that great," she muttered. "Being the Cat."

She began to walk away from me.

"Let's just go home," she said.

_Somehow….I've started to understand Kyoko-chan._

_She's less elegant than most girls….but deep down, I think she's really sweet._

_Someone sincere, who speaks from the heart._

_A great gal._

"So, Kyoko-chan," giggled Shigune when we got home. "How was your _date_? A romantic walk home in the moonlight with Tohru-kun…Kyaa, I'm jealous! It's like something out of one of those chick flicks you hate!"

"Stop it!" Kyoko said, blushing again. "It wasn't like that!"

"It won't happen again," she told me.

"Okay," I smiled.

She sat down at the table, and so did I.

"I'm just glad you're eating my food," I told her.

I knew she wouldn't easily believe that a guy could cook.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"Huh, uh, it's…."

Yukiko looked up from her own portion of the food at Kyoko.

"What?" Kyoko glared at her.

'Nothing," Yukiko sighed.

"Then quit staring at me," Kyoko snapped.

"I wasn't staring at you," Yukiko replied coldly.

"WERE TOO!" Kyoko growled.

"You don't like it?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation back to my food before another catfight erupted.

"IT SUCKS!" Kyoko growled.

Momentary silence. Yukiko glared at Kyoko.

"It's ok," I sighed. "I could've timed that better."

_She makes me sick, _Yukiko thought.

_Tohru here…And so Kyoko and I became friends. Things should be lot happier here at the Sohma House from now on._

_Maybe._

_These girls change moods faster than dresses._

_I can never tell…_


	6. Chapter 6

Fruits Flip, Chapter 6

By: Storychan

**Ok….I know it's been forever since I updated. *bows* Gomen nasai!**

**School has kept me so busy….*sigh* But now it's summer break, so I can finally update~**

**I stayed up til 3 am making sure this was worth the wait! Please R&R!**

_Honda Tohru here. Autumn has arrived...so it's the perfect time for a game of Dai Hin Min! Or, at least, I tried to tell Kyoko-chan that…_

"That stupid game's got nothing to do with autumn!" she protested loudly when I approached her desk after school.

"B-but it's really popular right now…." I pleaded.

"Go ask that bitch Yukiko to play."

"Sohma-chan's not here. And I really wish you wouldn't call her that…."

"Whaddya expect, dude?" sighed Uoji, clapping me on the back. "Girls just love cutting each other down. Cuz, y'know, they're all _insecure and weak._"

I saw his smirk under his blonde bangs. Kyoko's eyes narrowed.

"We don't want her to play with us anyway," Uoji continued. "After all, she'd just _lose_. Because girls don't have the smarts to play cards."

"EXCUSE ME?!" cried Kyoko, leaping out of her seat. "Fine! I'll show you! I'll accept your challenge….just don't cry when you realize you got beat by a girl!"

"Ok," Uoji laughed, and I knew he hadn't meant anything he said. He just really wanted to get Kyoko to play with him. "But loser does all the cleaning!"

"Kyoko-san has such aggressive waves for a girl," Hanaji smiled dreamily. "She's similar to Uoji's wavelength….Fascinating."

"We should invite Sohma-chan to play next," I suggested, hoping she'd be a calming influence on her cousin. Uoji had no idea that Kyoko was absolutely capable of kicking his butt for the comments he'd just made.

"Where did she _go_, anyway?"

00o

"I'm sorry, I'm not interested."

"But Yukiko-hime….." Yukiko's latest suitor reached for her sleeve to stop her from leaving.

"I SAID NO!" she cried, kicking him before he could touch her.

He just stared at her, stunned. Was that some sort of karate move? He never thought a ladylike girl like her would be into that kind of thing. He'd never seen her raise her voice, either. She was always the polite, meek girl traditionalists dreamed of. But now there was something dangerous in her eyes.

His own eyes narrowed. "Yukiko-hime, everyone says you're such a sweet girl…so moe, not catty at all…..But you're still such an _ice queen._"

Yukiko's perfectly lined silver eyes widened.

"All the guys at this school are into you," the boy continued. "But you've turned every last one of 'em down. Why? Do you just enjoy teasing guys? Messing with our heads? Making us fall for you and then rejecting us? You're so stuck up! Don't most girls WANNA fall in love? It's all they can talk about! Why are you different? Why are you so afraid to trust your heart to anyone?"

The boy waited for a reply, but Yukiko just stared, speechless. Eventually, he got sick of waiting and left.

But his words had struck home. Yukiko fought tears as she stared into the classroom where her cousin was playing Dai Hin Min with the only boy in school who had never tried to win her.

The only boy she wanted to try.

00o

"The red-head chick's cheating, dude!"

"No I ain't! Just admit that a girl's beating you! When you play a 'revolution', the 'rich man' and the 'poor man' trade places!"

"Hanaji Special Technique: Counter-Revolution!"

"Haha, he gotcha, Sohma-chan! Toldja a guy would win!"

"Yeah, but it wasn't you."

"Shut up!"

_Why are you so afraid to trust your heart to anyone?_

00O

After the game, I asked Yukiko if she knew how to play Dai Hin Min. She nodded.

"But I've never actually played."

"It's ok! It's easy! Uoji-kun taught me! You should play with us next time," I smiled warmly.

Yukiko didn't seem to be paying attention. She was giving Kyoko that "bitch-I'll-scratch-your-eyes-out" look that I still hadn't gotten used to. I never got why those two were always so catty to each other, like reality television queens.

"It looks like Kyoko was the 'poor man' this time," she smirked.

"YOU BETTER NOT BE CALLING ME MANNISH!" Kyoko growled, looking up from her mopping. It was weird to see a tomboy like her doing domestic stuff.

"No, I'm just calling you a loser."

"Well, it's not because I'm a girl!"

"No, it's just because you suck."

"Well," said Kyoko with determined eyes, "next time I'll win! And I'll defeat you, too, Miss Snooty-Booty!"

"Keep telling yourself that, honey," Yukiko said with a roll of her pretty eyes.

"I _WILL!"_

"Why are you so obsessed with me?"

"I'm not! I just can't be happy til I've proved you're not the queen bee!"

"Well, I shouldn't have to listen to your shrill whining just because you're always going to be a wannabe!"

"That condescending way you always keep your little powdered nose in the air really makes me mad!"

"Well your total inability to ever be a lady makes _me _mad, you sloppily-dressed shrew!"

_The way these two fight…. _it occurred to me. _It's worse than just Rat vs Cat. It's something….more._

Then I remembered something Kyoko had said on her first day of school.

_I'll defeat you! I'll become part of your little Zodiac clique!_

Did that mean that if Kyoko won this weird little ongoing catfight they had….then the Cat would get to be part of the Chinese Zodiac? It didn't make a lot of sense, but….that would be so wonderful for her. I knew as a gentleman I shouldn't encourage them to fight, but a part of me was now rooting for Kyoko to win.

"You bitch! I'll really scratch your eyes out! Just let me take out my earrings!"

_Yeah….as a gentleman, I really should try to break this up. Even if Uoji swears "no real bro breaks up a catfight!"_

"Come on, rat bitch!"

Suddenly, Yukiko knocked Kyoko to the floor!

"I'm sick of looking at your ditzy face!" Yukiko cried, then stormed out of the room.

I rushed to Kyoko's side. "A-are you ok?" I had to ask. She was just a girl!

"I'm fine," Kyoko grumbled, wiping blood off her chin.

"Did you bite your tongue? Do you want me to take you to the nurse?"

"I said I'm fine!" Kyoko shrieked. "I told you, don't treat me like some helpless damsel just because I'm a girl! I can take a freaking hit." She looked away from me. "I don't want your pity. Someday, I _will _kick that bitch's ass. Without your help. Go get ready for work."

I realized she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, and she was right, I was going to be late for work. So I left.

As I was changing out of my janitor's uniform after my shift, my thoughts turned to Yukiko.

_I'm sick of looking at your ditzy face._

What was it about Kyoko that bothered her so much? She never talked like that to anyone else. Normally, she was mild as a mouse (welll….a rat).

"Hey, Honda, get out here!" called one of my coworkers.

"What?" I called, walking out of the locker room with my duffel bag I'd brought my change of clothes in.

"There's a super-hottie outside."

"Maybe she's a model," suggested another one of the janitors.

"Sure as hell out of _our _league, with that gorgeous silver hair…."

_Silver? _I thought. _It couldn't be…._

But it was! Yukiko was right outside the hotel where I worked!

"Sohma-chan!" I called worriedly, walking out. "What are you doing out here this time of night? It's dangerous!"

"I know," Yukiko chuckled. "That's why I came. Shigune was worried the _yakuza _would get you if I wasn't here to protect you. Talk about a role-reversal!"

"Is it that obvious that I'd lose any fight I'd got in?" I said, flushing. I couldn't believe a girl had been sent to protect me. How lame was I?!

"Well, if you'd rather walk home alone…." Yukiko started, frowing disappointedly.

"No!" I backtracked. "That's not what I meant. To be honest, I feel really fortunate that a girl like you would deign to walk home with a guy like me."

"Then let's walk," smiled Yukiko, taking my hand and leading me down the sidewalk. I blushed.

"T-that's not all," I said, stopping. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it, Honda-san?" Yukiko blinked.

"Why do you fight with Kyoko-chan so much? She's the only person I've ever seen you really get angry at. You're normally sweet as sugar to everyone else you talk to….I-it's not that I don't like you anymore once I've seen that angry side of you….I mean, I still really like you…"

I saw Yukiko blush, and stopped for a second.

But then I continued, "I won't be upset with you….Just please tell me why you hate her so much!"

"DON'T YELL AT GIRLS, MAN!" called a drunk salaryman, shoving me before walking on.

Had I been yelling at Yukiko?

Before I had time to think about that, I realized I was falling…..and was about to fall right on top of Yukiko!

Seconds later, I had a rat in my lap.

"OhmigoshI'msosorryitwasanaccidentpleasedon'thinkI 'mapervert!" I rambled super fast as I stood up, blushing furiously.

"I-it's ok," Yukiko muttered, walking next to me. "It's not your fault I have this 'condition'….."

It seemed to rude to make her walk on such short little rat legs, so I picked her up and began carrying her.

As I did, she began to speak again. "A-about what you asked before you….fell…."

"Y-yeah?" I stammered, still surprised I hadn't gotten slapped for that.

"When I lived in the main house of the Sohma Clan…..I felt like a trapped princess in a glass tower. I couldn't get out, but everyone in the family could just watch me…..especially Akiko. She was like that witch, who would never let Rapunzel go. I wanted desperately to break free. To go explore the rest of the 'kingdom' I felt like I was missing out on. So I applied to a co-ed school and left home. But….I hadn't really left my 'tower'. I just went to another Sohma house. And I still feel like I'm not part of the 'kingdom'. Not really. I never meant to harden my heart….but a part of just can't trust anyone, because I'm afraid of getting hurt, and because I'm like…." She stared at her paws.

"This."

"But Kyoko-chan," she continued, "is different. She's not a Rapunzel. She's just….a commoner. She may be a little much to get used to at first, but she always makes friends. Even if she can't join the Zodiac….the gates of the kingdom are open to her. That's why I get annoyed, when I look at Kyoko, who _wants _to be a Sohma. She doesn't understand how awful it is, being the family 'princess'...She doesn't understand that my tower is a jail."

"You have plenty of friends, Sohma-chan!" I assured her. "I mean, you have a whole fanclub of guys who like you. They say you're totally sweet and moe….."

"I only act like a sweetheart because I want people to like me.. It's not who I really am. I'm not really that sweet to everyone. You saw that today. I just act that way to be popular. I'm pathetic."

"Soh-" I began, eyes beginning to dampen, when EVERYTHING began to dampen.

We were caught in a sudden rainstorm!

And….why did Yukiko suddenly feel so heavy….and…._squishy_? I turned and felt her long hair tickling my nose.

She'd turned back into a girl! A _naked _girl! Ohgod, what was I grabbing….?!

I drooped her in shock and covered my eyes. "I-I'm so sorry!" I squeaked. "I didn't mean to! I promise! I would never….."

"I believe you," Yukiko muttered. "Y-y-you can turn around now. I got some clothes out of my purse. I figured this might happen."

I noticed she was right: She was now wearing a grey miniskirt with a long-sleeved blouse of the same hue.

She didn't look or speak to me, however, for the rest of the walk home. I couldn't blame her. I was just glad nobody had seen us, because that would've been hard to explain. I would probably have gotten Maced.

0O0

"Shigune!" Yukiko called when we got in the door. "Are they doing the weather report?"

"Welcome back," Shigune smiled. "You're soaked!" she tutted with maternal concern, handing us each a towel to dry off with. "But., yeah, just saw it. A typhoon and flash floods."

"A typhoon?" I repeated, surprised. "That's out of season."

"The last outburst of a waning summer~" Shigune mused.

"Sssh and help me find my raincoat so I can go back out," Yukiko ordered.

"Hey!" Shigune griped. "I was waxing poetic!"

"You're going back out in that storm, Sohma-chan?" I asked, looking at Yukiko in surprise.

She nodded.

"As a gentleman, I feel obligated to escort you!"

"Y-you don't have to…"

"I want to, Sohma-chan," I insisted. "I-I mean, especially to make up for earlier…:"

"A-ah…r-right…."

"What happened earlier?" Shigune smirked.

"N-NOTHING AT ALL!"

00o

I followed Yukiko deep out into the woods.

"Where are we going?" I asked, struggling to keep a hold on the umbrella I'd brought.

"Here it is," Yukiko said calmly, pointing. I followed the path of her finger until my eyes rested on a small but lovingly tended vegetable patch.

"This," Yukiko grinned, "is my secret base!"

I smiled back. "It's wonderful!"

"You're trying to protect it from the storm, aren't you?" I asked.

She nodded.

"I'll help," I offered gallantly.

It was adorable to me that Yukiko had a garden….I could just picture her in a cute little sundress and a broad-brimmed straw hat, lovingly planting each little seedling with a shy smile on her face…

As I was fantasizing (wow, need to stop doing that) I almost missed what Yukiko said next: "You're a sweetheart, Honda-san."

"R-r-really?" I blushed. "Nobody's ever told me that before! Er, maybe I'm just doing it to be popular too…."

"No," Yukiko assured me as we spread a tarp over her precious plants, "with you it's real."

I thought about that for a second.

"My father always told me, Sohma-chan," I recalled, "That it's better to trust people than to doubt them. That we're not born with sweet hearts. When we're born, all we have is desire for food and material things. Selfish instincts, I guess. But he said that sweetness is something that grows within everyone's body – like one of your little seeds here – but it's up to you to nurture that sweetness in your heart. Like you nurture these plants. That's why every person's sweetness is different. Mom taught me that differences should be celebrated. When I thought of all the ways people could be sweet….I pictured it like a giant candy bowl….it made me really excited. Your sweetness is like a sugar cube, Sohma-chan. I can feel it melt around me….and I just want to smile. You're that kind of sweetheart."

For a few seconds, Yukiko just stared back at me, silver hair blowing in the rain and wind.

"Am I being too weird now?" I asked.

"Ah, no!" Yukiko explained with a light flush. "I just….I feel kind of bad, making you listen to all my drama…I don't mean to be a drama queen, really."

"No, it's ok," I explained. "When you open up to me like that, Sohma-chan…..I feel like we could be friends."

The tarp began to blow up in the breeze. I'd been so focused on talking that I'd let go of it! "Sorry!" I apologized. "I'm supposed to be helping protect your base!"

We didn't talk for the rest of the storm, because we were focusing on that. Nevertheless, the whole time….I couldn't stop smiling for some reason.

When the sun finally came out, my smile only widened. "We protected it to the very end!"

"Yes, but at what cost?" Yukiko flushed, looking down at her skirt and seeing how dirty it had gotten. Her hair was windblown, too. I probably looked like a wreck, as well, but it didn't matter to me.

"Is anything ready to harvest?" I asked cheerily.

"The leeks should be ready," Yukiko smiled.

I immediately began thinking of leek related recipes. And naps. A nap would be good too….We had stayed out all night.

As I stifled a yawn, however, Yukiko spoke.

"I think…..next time I'll play Dai Hin Min with you. I was too nervous to join last time…."

"Don't be, Sohma-chan! Hanaji-kun and Uoji-kun are great guys, they'll love having you join us!"

"Good….because I do want…to…just a little….have fun with others."

"I bet you'll be really good at it! Uoji-kun would love the challenge!"

"Ok! And unlike Kyoko," she grinned, "I won't lose!"

For the first time, I noticed how sweet Yukiko's smile really was.

O0o

"OK!" I announced once everyone was at the dinner table that night. "Tonight we're having….leeks!"

"I HATE LEEKS!" Kyoko cried.

"It's not just leeks," Shigune asked, "you hate green onions and miso, too right? I'd forgotten!"

"Miso's FINE! As long as it's in soup! Where it BELONGS!"

"I'm sorry!" I bowed. "I didn't realize. I'll go make some soup…"

But before I could even stand up, Yukiko had forced a chopstickful of leeks into Kyoko's mouth!

"Honda-san doesn't HAVE to cook all your meals for you, you know!" she reminded. "A LADY shows gratitude. EAT IT."

Silently, I wondered if all Yukiko and Kyoko shared was cattiness. Or was there something Kyoko envied about Yukiko, too?

I wondered if they understood each other, would they BFFs? Paint each other's nails, gossip, braid each other's hair, wear friendship bracelets?

On second that….nah. That'd just be odd.

Then, I heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it," I announced. "You ladies go ahead and eat."

When I got to the door, a nervous looking man was standing there. He was super bishonen….his fluffy brunette hair was shoulder-length and fluttered in the wind. He wore a green shirt over a white oxford, and trendy green skinny jeans.

"You're Honda Tohru-san, aren't you?" he asked. "I'm Sohma Kaguro…um, is it true….that Kyoko-chan is here?"


	7. Chapter 7

Fruits Flip, Chapter 7

By: Storychan

**I just couldn't wait to write about Kaguro. XD I've been looking forward to this part….**

**I decided that if a male Kaguro attacked Kyoko the way Kagura attacked Kyo, it would be less "slapstick comedy" and more "Domestic violence". O_o So I've decided instead of being HOMOcidal like his canon counterpart, Kaguro is more SUIcidal. It's meant to be darkly funny, like the original….**

**Please R&R!**

"I'm Sohma Kaguro. Is it true….that Kyoko-chan is here?"

"Um….she's having a catfight with some leeks right now….."

I saw tears well up in this Kaguro guy's eyes. Guys don't usually cry. They're not supposed to. So I wondered what his deal was.

"She….she came back!" he smiled delightedly, pushing past me into the dining room. 'Kyoko-chan!" he called. "I missed you!"

_He seems like a nice, if really sensitive, guy, _I thought. _If he's of the Sohma Clan, I wonder if that means he's one of the Zodiac?!_

I walked into the dining room myself, ahead of him. Kyoko was still shrieking. "JUST BECAUSE A GUY COOKS FOR ME DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO EAT IT!"

"Well, obviously, since you're not a lady, you couldn't possibly figure out how to cook for yourself!" Yukiko retorted.

"You're the one who can't cook, bitch!" Kyoko reminded.

"Well at least I can show some gratitude!"

"Now, now, Yukiko-chan, Kyoko-chan…" Shigune chided.

Then Kaguro burst in. "KYOKO-CHAN!" he cried.

"K-Kaguro?" Kyoko blinked, seemingly surprised.

"Where have you BEEN the last four months?" Kaguro sniffled. "When you went missing…I was so sure you'd been kidnapped! That you'd die! I-if I lost you….I would just….

"I WOULD DIE!" Kaguro screamed, and grabbed one of the leeks I'd cooked off the table. He began smacking himself in the head with it!

"I MUST COMMIT LEEKY SEPPUKU FOR ALLOWING MY KYOKO-CHAN TO PUT HERSELF IN DANGER LIKE THAT!"

_Huh?_

"Please…." I pleaded. "Why are you attacking yourself with leeks?"

"BECAUSE I LEFT MY SEPPUKU EGGPLANT AT HOME."

"Why….do you have a seppuku eggplant?"

"Why do you NOT have a seppulu eggplant?"

I wanted to say _because I'm not nuts_, but I didn't think it would help the situation.

"There's no way you could possibly kill yourself with soft boiled leek…" Yukiko sighed.

"You're right, Yukiko-chan," Kaguro agreed, setting the leek down.

_Oh yay! He's calm now! _I thought.

"I SHOULD BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL."

_Or not._

"Please leave my walls alone…" Shigune sighed, but it was too late. Kaguro had smacked his head into the wall. The wall, being paper, just broke.

"WHY DO YOU DEFY ME, MR. WALL?" Kaguro cried, head still stuck in the hole in the wall he created.

"You know the wall's not gonna answer you, right?" Kyoko sighed.

"SSSH. DON'T LISTEN TO THEM, MR. WALL. THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND US."

"Uh…" I began. "Shouldn't we try to stop him, or get him some psychological help, or….something?"

"He's just bluffing," Yukiko assured me. "He gets like this every time he's around Kyoko. He's just trying to guilt her into paying attention to him. It's how he shows his love.."

"He's been doing this since he was a kid," Shigune explained. "He never tries to off himself in a way that would actually _work_. If he truly wanted to die, he would've done it by now."

"He's two years older than us, by the way," Yukiko smiled. "And…he's one of the Chinese Zodiac."

"R-really?" I squeed. "I knew it! What animal is he?"

"Keep watching," suggested Shigune, "and you'll figure it out."

"What I have figured out," I sweatdropped, "is that if he keeps holding his breath like that, he really will die…."

"No, he'll just pass out," Kyoko said from across the room.

She was right. He did seconds later. She grabbed a glass of water off the table and dumped it on his face. "You done yet?" she griped.

Spluttering, he woke up. "Kyoko-chan, my darling~" he smiled. "I feel so light-headed! It must be from the dizziness caused by LOVE!"

"More like lack of oxygen," Yukiko and Shigune said in unison.

"I'm sorry," said Kaguro, standing up. "I was just so touched to see Kyoko-chan was alright that I got all emotional."

"All over my walls," Shigune complained.

"S-sorry," Kaguro repeated. "But…I really was worried about Kyoko-chan. A girl can't just disappear like that, without even a call…."

"Why would I call YOU?" Kyoko grumbled.

"Because you're going to be my bride!" Kaguro cried.

"WHEN DID YOU DECIDE THAT?"

"Congratulations on your engagement," Shigune smirked.

"It's nice you found someone willing to marry a shrew like you," Yukiko tittered, sipping her tea.

"CUT IT OUT, GIRLS!"

"When we were little," Kaguro clarified. "I proposed to Kyoko-chan, and she said yes."

"Because you threatened to STAB YOURSELF if I didn't!"

"But Kyoko-chan!" Kaguro argued. "Marriage between Zodiac members is the most wonderful thing in the world! Who else can understand the pain of being possessed by a vengeful spirit? Furrthermore…."

He glomped Kyoko, causing her to fall to the ground. "Members of the Zodiac can hug each other without transforming!"

"HANDS OFF, PERVERT!"

Kaguro complied, and embraced Yukiko, proving he could hug her, as well.

"Why is that?" I wondered aloud.

"We're not sure," said Yukiko, freeing herself from Kaguro's grasp effortlessly. "But there are two other male members of the Zodiac. And we just know they can hug us without transforming".

"There are two other guys?" I grinned. _Maybe we could be buddies!_

"Do you want to know which animals they are?" Shigune offered.

"Is it ok if I have fun guessing?"

"That'd be cool, too." Shigune said warmly. "But, back to the topic at hand. When a Sohma marries a 'normal' person of the opposite sex, there will inevitably be complications. It's difficult to manage in public, and it's terrible transforming every time you hug each other. So, sex…"

"Ladies do not discuss such things!" interrupted Yukiko, smacking her with a fan.

Meanwhile, Kaguro had turned his attention back to Kyoko.

"Kyoko-chan!" he cried. "Tell me straight-up! Do you like me? Do you hate me? Because I like you! I love you more anything in the world – no, the universe! If you marry me, I won't make you cook just because you're the girl. I'll cook for you every day and won't feel whipped! Even if you were to cheat on me,I wouldn't freak out! Because I'm the only one who loves you this much! I want you to be my _waifu_! Don't you want that too?"

Kyoko was speechless.

"YOU KNOW IF YOU SAY NO I'LL JUMP OFF A BRIDGE, RIGHT?"

"Now, now, Kaguro-kun!" Shigune chided. "You're not the only one who likes Kyoko-chan. Tohru-kun, you do too, right?"

"Eh? You're my rival?" cried Kaguro, looking at me. I wondered if he was going to start a fight. I hoped not. He was twice my size (but then, so are most guys…I'm a shrimp).

Fortunately, Kaguro merely said, "I won't lose! My love will overcome any obstacle! What do you like about Kyoko-chan? I like EVERYTHING! I'll take her bad side along with the good! Even if she shows her true form…."

Kyoko clamped an interrupting hand over Kaguro's mouth. "Keep talking and I'll never forgive you," she growled. It was a shocking display, especially for a lady. What had Kaguro been trying to say about a true form?

I forgot about that as soon as Kaguro started screaming again. "IF YOU WON'T FORGIVE ME I'LL HAVE TO GO MEET MR. WALL AGAIN!"

_Honda Tohru here. I'm not the sort of guy who thinks that the more girls you get, the better, but I know lots of guys do think like that. Either way, I've never even gotten one. But my point is, I think it's admirable that Kaguro has chosen one special girl that he's devoted his whole life to trying to win. The way he doesn't even seem to see other women._

_I wonder…if I'll find a love like that._

O0o

"I don't like it that a man is living here with all you ladies," Kaguro pouted to Shigune after dinner. "Especially with Kyoko-chan. She's mine."

"You can stay the night any time," Shigune offered graciously.

"I could always sneak over to Kyoko-chan's room and carry her off, like a princess…."

"You'll stay in your own room til morning, you creeper."

"You don't _get _it."

"I get what it's like to be jealous, Kaguro-kun. Trust me."

00o

After I finished the dinner dishes, I was going to head off to bed early, but I felt like I was forgetting something.

Oh, of course! I'd forgotten to dry my school uniform. I went out on the balcony to check on it. That was when I heard something –no, someone- on the roof.

I grabbed a ladder and hoped it wasn't a robber. I may have been the man of the house, but I was still a shrimp. I wasn't confident in my ability to fend a robber off.

But when I got up there, I saw it wasn't a cat burglar….it was my favorite Cat, Kyoko.

"What are you doing up here?" I asked. "Do you not have a room? Oh no, did I take yours? I'd gladly sleep on the roof instead of you. A girl should be given a nice place to stay."

Kyoko shook her head. "I have a room, but Kaguro's in there tonight."

"Do you not like having Kaguro here?" I asked.

"HELL to the no!" Kyoko howled. "I don't get that guy! Why does he want to get married? Don't most guys just want to fool around with girls? He's nuts. All that marriage talk drives me up the wall!"

"I think it's great that he's so devoted and faithful," I replied. "Besides….I don't mean to sound sexist, but don't all girls dream of getting married?"

She just stared at me.

I sighed. "I guess that's not your dream, though. You're not like most girls. Isn't your dream to defeat Sohma-chan? You even ran away to train, and put yourself in a lot of danger most girls wouldn't."

"Yeah," Kyoko admitted. "Did Shigune tell you?"

I nodded. "She seemed really worried about you…I mean, you could've wound up with your face on a milk carton, a girl your age wandering out there alone."

"I wasn't alone," Kyoko elucidated. "Sensei-chan was with me."

"Sensei…chan?"

"She's one of few women to become a martial arts champion. She could rip that bitch Yukiko apart. She's a Sohma, too, but she gets me. She believes girls can kick butt, too! She's trained me to be tough since I was a little girl in pigtails! Sure, training in the mountains wasn't comfy…there was no place to wash your hair, and we had to wear the world's ugliest hiking boots, but we didn't care about that. We didn't care about being girly. We just wanted to be strong, to prove a woman can be as strong as a man!" I noticed an excited glint in Kyoko's eyes that I'd never seen before. "I get excited just thinking about it! I always looked forward to what moves I could learn every day! Suddenly I just want to go kick some booty!"

_Kyoko-chan, _I realized. _Isn't just trying to pick Real Housewives-style catfights. It's not that she just wants to kick Yukiko's behind, either. Kyoko-chan really wants to be a true martial artist. Like, an athlete, or some Xena-style warrior. It's an unusual hobby for a girl…but I'm glad there's something that she's so passionate about. Soemthing that makes her so happy._

"I-I know you must think it's weird for a girl to be into fighting so much," Kyoko said, looking away and blushing. "I mean, you're a guy, and you don't even like fighting."

"I'm still interested in it, though!" I assured her. _I can be a tough guy. _ "I think…I remember some move my dad tried to teach me…"

"Show me," Kyoko grinned, taking a fighting stance.

"What?" I backed up. 'You want me to try and hit you? I can't do that! You're a girl!"

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Kyoko said challengingly. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't take a freaking hit. Just _go _for it."

"Y-you're sure?"

"Yes. Come on, try me."

"O-ok." I decided, and made my move. "Right Straigh….AAAAH!"

I epic failed so badly that only did I not hit her, I slipped and was falling of the roof!

She grabbed my hand, saving me from what could have been a bone-breaking splat, and pulled me back up.

"Thanks," I muttered, blushing.

Then I noticed she was smiling, a suppressed giggle on her lips. I'd never seen her smile before.

"You _suck_, you know that?"

_Honda Tohru-kun here. I feel like I've caught a glimpse of the real Kyoko-chan again. Underneath that tough exterior….she has the softest smile. _

O0o

The next morning, when I walked down to the bathroom to get ready for school, Kaguro was hugging Kyoko again.

"I'm going to miss you!" he told her.

"I DON'T CARE! GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM, YOU FREAK!"

I heard Shigune come up behind me. "So, Tohru-kun," she asked, "Have you figured out Kaguro's animal?"

I couldn't answer, because, once again, Kaguro was screaming. "KYOKO-CHAN, YOU BREAK MY HEART! FINE! NO FAREWELL KISS FOR YOU, THEN!"

He ran to the corner of the room. "I HAVE TO GO ASK MR. WALL TO HELP ME COMMIT HARAKIRI AGAIN!"

He wound up busting right through "Mr. Wall" into the yard. My heart almost stopped when I saw there was a woman out there, about to crash right into Kaguro!

Yukiko, rushing to prevent sheer crisis, grabbed the woman by the ponytail and dragged her to the gate. "Good morning, sorry, I just loved your hair, had to grab it, who does it?" she smiled in the most ladylike way.

"Uh…I do it myself…" the woman stammered. "I'm here with your morning paper…"

"I'll take it. Have a nice day."

"O-ok."

"Nice save, Yukiko-chan!" called Shigune once she'd left.

"That was too close, Kaguro!" Kyoko complained.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect there to be a woman there," apologized Kaguro's voice…which I now noticed was emanating from a small, furry boar with tiny tusks!

"Shigune-san!" I called. 'I've figured it out! Kaguro is the Year Of The Boar!"

"Well..duh," Shigune chuckled.

"He always charges straight towards what he wants, just like a boar!"

"It's easy once you know the answer…."

"He's actually a really fierce-looking animal! I'm impressed!" I walked toward Kaguro and looked him in his beady black boar's eyes. "Kaguro-san," I began, "I think I know…why you like Kyoko-chan so much. She has many wonderful qualities once you get to know her, doesn't she? So just like you, Kaguro-san, I .."

"KYOKO-CHAN, MY HEART IS BROKEN! I MUST FIND MY SEPPUKU EGGPLANT NOW!"

"Didn't you say you wouldn't freak out if she cheated on you?" Shigune recalled.

"OF COURSE. I CAN'T FREAK OUT IF I'M DEAD."

"That's not what I meant!" I cried, backtracking. I didn't want to responsible for any produce-relate deaths. 'What I meant to say is, I hope someday I can find a girl I'm as devoted to as you are to Kyoko-chan. I really admire your fidelity."

"Thank you," Kaguro smiled warmly, and then, with a poof, turned back into a naked dude. Did not need to see that.

Kyoko, trying to cover her eyes, cried, "STOP FLASHING ME, YOU PERV!"

00o

After Kaguro put some clothes back on, we said our goodbyes. "See you!" he called as we parted ways. "Next time I'll bring you a gift, Kyoko-chan!"

"See you!" I called, feeling like I'd made a (somewhat odd) friend.

"Thank god that's over," Yukiko said with a sigh of relief. "I was so busy keeping Kaguro's belt and pins away from him that I had no time to tend my garden."

"Were you going to plant something?" I asked excitedly.

She nodded. "Strawberries".

"I love strawberries!"

Yukiko smiled one of those sweet little smiles at me that one of her fanclub guys would kill for. "I hoped you would."

"Come on, slowpokes!" Kyoko called, already halfway up the road. "We're gonna be late for school!"

_Honda Tohru-kun here. Suddenly…I feel so inspired. Kyoko-chan and Sohma-chan….Their likes and dislikes….I want to get to know them better. I want to find…new sides of them I haven't seen. _

At least, that's what I WAS thinking….when my grandma called, and everything changed.


	8. Chapter 8

Fruits Flip, Chapter 8

By: Storychan

**Hi, guys! I know it's been awhile….again. lol (I've started my sophomore year of college…I'm the head of advertising for my anime club this year, which has kept me so busy….I sat outside in a kimono for 2 hours in the heat, recruiting new members….I made two dozen cupcakes and a giant AMV playlist for our first interest meeting….and soon I have to start working on our Halloween fundraising event….and our Homecoming Week actitivites….AND I've joined yearbook this year, too….I have no fanfiction writing time at all..It bothers as much as it does you! -_-) **

**But this weekend I've gone on a binge, updating all my popular fics (**_**Naruko**_**, **_**Avataress: The Last Airbender Maiden, Yami Kiryu**_**) ..and thanks to y'all, my wonderful readers, **_**Fruits Flip **_**is my most popular fic of all! I've reached 25 reviews…that's a milestone! Thank you so much!**

**Another reason I haven't been able to update is that my Fruits Basket manga is back home…10 hours away! T_T Luckily, I've discovered the wonders of SCANLATIONS! I'm using a scan I found on to write this. **

**I hope you enjoy! As always, R & R!**

**-Storychan **

"Tohru-kun," sighed my grandmother over the phone. She'd called me at school, so I knew it had to be important. I felt kind of bad…ever since Dad died and I moved in with the Sohma girls, I hadn't been talking to her much. I love my grandmother – she's the one who taught me to make the best chocolate cupcakes, it's all about the secret ingredient, you know, you just add a little bit of mayonnaise, see, and it adds this degree of moisture that you can't- sorry. If Uoji were here, he'd tell me to shut up and get on with the story, because I'm starting to sound gay again.

I'm not. I swear. Guys can like making pretty little sweets, ok?

S-shut up.

I'm sorry. The truth is…I don't want to think about what Grandma said. Because her words were what took me away from Kyoko and Yukiko and Shigune.

She told me, "Tohru-kun….I know that you're trying to be a gentleman, telling me I already have enough mouths to feed at my house, I'm just an old lady, I don't need another young man to look after….But..ever since your father, my little Kyouya-kun, died, I….I just need you here. You need to be with your family."

What was I supposed to say to that? I realized I'd been….selfish. Grandma was grieving for Dad just as much as I was. If she needed me….I had too much filial piety to refuse her. She could probably use my help around the house more than the Sohma girls could. It was the right thing to do.

…So why did it make me feel so bad? Why did I wish so badly that I could've stayed at Shigune's house forever?

_Honda Tohru-kun here. I….was wrong. Grandma said I need to be with my family….It was stupid of me, but…I'd begun to think being with the Sohmas WAS being with family. _

I couldn't look the girls in the eye when I told them I was leaving. I just muttered, "The pickles in the fridge….you should eat them before they go bad. And you're almost out of soy sauce….Also, don't forget trash pick-up is Thursday, so you'll need to take the garbage out Wednesday night….and here's my grandma's address….."

"So…you're leaving tomorrow?" said Shigune, looking up from the pages of her fashion magazine. "Thank you for taking care of us."

"No, I should thank you!" I protested. They'd saved me from being a hobo, hadn't they? "And I promise I won't reveal the Sohma Clan's secret, ever!" My time in fairy-tales was done. It was time to be a man and go back to the real world. I had responsibilities…I had to take care of my family. I couldn't be selfish anymore….right?

"When you get home," Shigure said maternally, "you take care of yourself, ok?"

I nodded. "Right! I'll be fine!"

_Come on, Tohru. It's time to man up and say goodbye._

00o

"I thought," said Shigune sadly, with a flick of her elegantly carved pipe, to Yukiko and Kyoko, who had been hiding just around the corner, "that you would ask him to stay."

"Why?" asked Yukiko solemnly. "I mean, if his grandma needs him to go be man of the house for her, wouldn't it make us total bitches to nag and say he couldn't? Why would he choose girls who he barely knows like us over his own clan?"

Kyoko was silent. She left the room without another word. That rat bitch had said it all, hadn't she? In a torn hoodie and leather skirt, she laid down on the roof, and pondered why she even cared about that pervert, anyway.

00o

_Honda Tohru-kun here. Man, I'm an idiot. I was never going to be part of the Sohma Clan. For as long as I can remember, I haven't even had a lot of buddies, let alone girls interested in hanging around a chump like me._

A memory from grade school popped into my head as I sat in my grandma's spare room, unpacking my stuff. I didn't have a lot of it to begin with. It's not like I'm a girl who has a ton of clothes, or a bunch of decorations to put on her wall. This place…didn't feel like my place. I didn't feel like I belonged back then, either:

"_Alright, settle down, class!" my old gruff fourth grade teacher – I think his name was Mr. Yamada? – called to me and the other kids. "We're going to play a game called Fruits Basket. You'll flip! Here's what you do – little girl over there, you start…Why don't you give everyone a fruit name?"_

_This one girl with pigtails stood up. She was nine or so, like me, but she'd already started wearing makeup and writing guy's names on her notebooks….and not speaking to other girls in the class who liked the same guy. (Not me, of course….I was too girly for girls like that.) It's funny, how girls grow up faster than boys. They get mean faster, too. _

"_You're an apple," she told one kid. "You're a banana..cherry...peach….pear….and you, Tohru-kun…."_

_My hair was still pretty long back then. I didn't see why I had to cut it, and Dad didn't make me. Maybe that was why so many girls were bitchy to me back then. This girl was one of them._

"…_.you're an onigiri!"_

_I had never played this game before. I just thought "oh…I Iike making onigiri with Grandma". I didn't say anything. Maybe I should've stood up for myself, but I didn't get what was going on. I just sat there as all the other fruits were called, one after the other…"Apple!" "Peach!'….waiting for somebody to say "onigiri". The me from back then was a quiet kid. I wasn't going to ask why they hadn't called me yet….I figured they would eventually._

_But nobody ever did. An onigiri…just doesn't flip over and fall into a basket of fruits. And if it does, somebody takes it out…and puts it where it belongs._

"Long time no see!" called my uncle, as my aunt stood beside her and my grandma waved warmly from behind them.

I bowed respectfully. "I'm sorry..I should've been here sooner…."

0oo

"So…..he just left, huh?" Yukiko asked Shigune. "That's just like a man."

"It was a clean break," replied Shigune.

"Yeah…very clean."

"But, still…" Shigune put one sleeve of her kimono over her eye, to stop her mascara from running. "It makes me sad…."

00o

Later, Yukiko sat on the little bench she'd put in her garden, her sunhat shielding her sad eyes from the sun. Tohru was gone. But his words still remained with her.

_I love strawberries!_

_Your sweetness is like a sugar cube, Sohma-chan. I can feel it melt around me….and I just want to smile._

_Will you still be my friend?_

00o

Kyoko was still on the roof. It was getting dark, and cold – especially in a skirt. But she didn't care. She wished she could get rid of these stupid memories that wouldn't leave her alone.

_I'd never be mad at you. I mean, I __**love**__ you. I've always loved the Cat from the zodiac!_

_It's true. I wanted to be born in the Year of the Cat! Err…I mean….I want to be friends!_

_Right Straigh….AAAAH!_

00o

Each Sohma woman….Shigune at her table, fixing her mascara and trying to focus on _Cosmo_….Yukiko in her garden, wondering if she should go inside before she got an ugly tan…and Kyoko, on the roof, zipping up her hoodie and steeling herself for a cold night outside….thought of Tohru – the way he smiled as he scooped their rice, not caring at all that not one of them had known how to help him make it – and sighed.

0oo

The next morning, it took me a minute to remember where I was..to remember I didn't have to rush to get ready and put the tea on for the Sohma girls anymore. I rolled out of bed and put on my uniform pants, then the shirt – _why were ties so difficult to tie? _– and got out my schoolbag before I couldn't stop myself from thinking of them anymore.

They had probably eaten breakfast by now, right? Should I have said something to them before I left?

I reminded myself, once again, to be a man about this. It wasn't like I wouldn't still see them at school, right? In their cute little schoolgirl uniforms...

…Yeah, that didn't make me feel better. I'm not the type of guy who thinks too much about those things. Or…well, it wasn't as if I didn't find Yukiko and Kyoko cute. Because they were. Any man could tell you that. But for me…it was more than that. When I looked in my schoolbag, I found the two books I'd checked out of the library the day Grandma called.

_Women In The Martial Arts._

_Gardening For Beginners. _

I cared about those girls' interests…I wanted to know more about them. I wanted to….

"Yo, cuz! You done putzin' around in here? I swear, girls take less time to get ready than you."

"Ah…sorry!" I blinked, realizing my cousin – a slightly older guy, with hair cropped short "cuz I'm a man, man" and a camo turtleneck– was standing in the doorway. "I'm…almost done," I apologized.

"Man, Grams' house is friggin' huge. So why do I have to share with your slow ass?"

"I'm sorry…." I repeated. I was done getting dressed. I needed to get out of this room…leave the books here. I didn't need them anymore…did I?

Once my cousin and I entered the breakfast nook, Grandma immediately came over to me. "Kyouya-kun!" she greeted me fondly.

Oh, man. Her grief seemed to me making her dementia worse. I felt guilty.

"That's Tohru-kun, Grams," my cousin reminded, rolling his eyes.

"Somebody's here to see you, Kyouya-kun," Grandma muttered anyway. I ignored her, instead focusing my attention on my aunt, an office lady with glasses and a prim bun. She was frowning at me.

"There's something we need to discuss right away, young man," she scolded.

"What?" I blinked. Was I in trouble?

"It has come to my attention that you have been living with three unmarried women, two of which are underage, like yourself," she explained.

"Oh man!" my cousin cried, an envious look on his face. "So you got yourself two live in girlfriends, plus a MILF? Man, I didn't think harems were for real!"

"It's not like that!" I cried, offended. Those were my friends he was talking about! Yukiko…Kyoko…Shigune…they were my friends, right?

And nothing more than that! I wasn't some kind of pervert! I wouldn't take advantage of their hospitality in that way! My father had taught me to treat women with respect!

"My daughter wants to be a police officer," my aunt continued viciously. "It's already hard enough for women to get into that kind of work….If anyone in the family had a _history_, it would just become more of a problem."

"I can't believe you had detectives find all this shit out, Mom," my cousin snickered, probably imagining all the perverted things he would've done in my situation. Made me sick.

"Perhaps going to a P.I. was a bit over the top," my aunt conceded. "But Kyouya engaged in all sorts of delinquency in his youth. Like father, like son, they say. So of course I'm concerned. Tohru-kun…." She jerked her head towards me, eyes narrowed behind her designer lenses.

"Those girls….you didn't do anything….improper…to them, did you?"

SLAP!

Suddenly, Grandma had backhanded my aunt across the face! She was the last woman in the world I expected to start a catfight.

"How dare you make such accusations!" she cried. "I raised him to be a _gentleman_! He would NEVER treat ANY woman in such a disgraceful manner!" She turned to me. "I'm sorry, Kyouya. She's just a bitch."

My jaw dropped. I had no idea what to say.

But Grandma wasn't done talking. "I'm not as young or as sharp as I used to be, sonny," she continued. "I have to stay with her, because I need somebody to look after me. But you don't. And you don't have to be the one to look after me, either. I'm in the twilight of my life….but you're young. You shouldn't give up the best days of my life for my last ones. You have your own life that you need to get out of here and live. I won't hold that against you. Even Katsuko.."

_My mother?_

"She said that Kyouya should live life the way he wants to, because you only live once."

A memory stirred in the old woman's age-clouded mind. A conversation she'd eavesdropped on, that had happened in this house, years ago.

_Look, Kyouya, it's not like I want you to leave, but…this little town? You can't grow here. You have big dreams, dreams you need to go live out. Once you've achieved all the great things I know you're destined to do, you can come back….and we can have a son….._

"I…I don't want to be selfish," I protested. "I should just be grateful for what I have! It's not like I can say God hasn't given me a wonderful life. I had Dad…and I have two of the best buddies a guy could get….and…."

_The Sohma women were so kind to me. I got to live under the same roof with them…I should just be happy I got to live out a dream like that for the short time I did. But now, I have to wake up, don't I? Can Grandma have really changed her mind about needing me here? I…..I…._

_I want to go back, _I realized. _I didn't think….leaving the Sohma house would hurt like this. I want to go back, and..I want to be friends with Sohma-chan and Kyouko-chan. I want to get to know them better. I want to eat with them, and talk to them about so many things….Actually, I never wanted to leave…_

I realized I was crying like a kid. I had wanted to be a man, a responsible one, that was why I'd left right? "Sohma-chan…." I found myself blubbering anyway. "Kyoyuko-chan…I want to live with them again….Shigune-nesan's house…."

_Is this proof….that I want to go chase down my own dreams?_

"Is it…?"

"Isn't it time for you to come back home?" said a soft female voice on my left side.

_Could it be?_

There was Yukiko, standing before me, in a gorgeous black dress with a white buttoned collar, smiling at me!

"…..What?" cried my relatives. "Who…?"

A warm hand grasped my right wrist tightly. I felt fabric against my skin…a black and white bow!

Kyouko was there, too, in a plain brown sweaterdress and a beat-up moto jacket! "You're such a _man_," she complained. "Come on, let's go!" she grinned, dragging me towards the door.

"Sorry to intrude," said Yukiko sweetly. "The door was open, so we just came in! Is Honda-kun's luggage upstairs?"

"Whoa, wait a sec!" my cousin called, his nose suddenly bleeding. "What are these fine-ass ladies doin' here? And I can I get their numbers?"

"We've come for Honda-kun," Yukiko clarified with a smile.

"Wait….cuz….YOU got these chicks? Man, they should be way out of your league!"

I blushed.

"Are you really one of the women Tohru-kun was residing with?" my aunt asked, in shock.

Yukiko bitchslapped her!

"Don't," she warned, her ice-queen face coming back once again in my defense – for some reason, I didn't mind playing damsel to this woman anymore– "Don't call him Tohru-kun like you're his friend…you c…"

I didn't hear any more, because Kyouko was already dragging me out of the house and down the street. I was amazed a girl like her could drag a man of my size….but I didn't fight her grip.

"Kyouko-chan…." I breathed. This all still felt like a dream. "What are you doing here?"

"You're the one who gave us your address, dumby!" Kyouko cried. "And it was hard to find! And I had to come her with that ditzy rat girl, too! Know how stupid men like you won't ask for directions? Well, apparently she won't either!"

_She willingly worked with Yukiko….for me?_

"I don't even know why I did it," Kyouko confessed, turning red. "It was just…Right after you left, suddenly I was even more of a bitch to deal with than usual! And I couldn't figure out why, which just made me MORE bitchy!"

_She needed me…._

"And another thing!" Kyouko cried shrilly. "If you didn't want to leave, why didn't you just say so? I hate how guys can't express what they're feeling! I heard everything, you know!" Her expression softened. "You….can be selfish once in a while, you know." she said, looking away. "Normally I hate selfish guys, but…Tohru-kun, you moron…If you don't go after what you want in life when you have the chance, you know you'll always regret it, right?"

Suddenly I was crying again.

"Hey!" Kyouko argued. "Men aren't supposed to cry! S'matter with you?"

"I want go back…" I sobbed, unable to control myself. "Back home with everyone! That's what I want in life!"

"Well then….let's go, stupid," said Kyouko, blushing and dragging me again. I didn't mind at all.

_Onigiri!_

Then, Yukiko caught up to us, and took my other hand, smiling.

_Honda Tohru-kun here….In the whole world….You won't find a guy as blessed as me!_

"So…you successfully got back your man 3?" Shigune greeted us when we got home. _This really was my home._

"Don't make it sound weird!" Kyouko snapped.

"Uh…Shigune-nesan…" I began. "I'm sorry….I'll resume my butler duties straight away…"

"Don't worry about it," Shigune smiled. "I'm just happy to have you in my house again, Tohru-kun. You should've seen the girls….they begged me for your address….I'd never seen Yukiko-chan scream for something so eagerly before 3"

"I….I didn't scream!" cried Yukiko, blushing furiously.

"And Kyouko looked like she'd never let you go!"

"WHAT did you do, Kyouko?!"

"NOTHING, you ditzy rat girl!"

"I'll beatcha!"

"Not today!"

Shigune merely giggled. "You'll take care of those girls….won't you, Tohru-kun?"

"Mm."

_Honda Tohru-kun here…..I've back where I belong. With my new friends…in my new home. _


End file.
